Together and Divided
by LyricsArePoetry
Summary: Sequel to Noughts, Crosses, and a Not So Happy Ending. Callum's out of jail but it's hardly happily ever after for him and Sephy. Jude's determined to split them up but can he succeed? Rated T for language and themes
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so I'm hoping I haven't lost too many of my reviewers from **_**Noughts, Crosses and a Not So Happy Ending **_**and I hope this sequel doesn't disappoint anyone. Please R&R and feel free to be critical but only in constructive ways. Updates may be slow to start with because I need to reread **_**Checkmate **_**so that I get all my facts right. **

**Also this directly follows on from the one-shot _What He Deserves. _**

**Ly'all.**

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**Together and Divided  
Chapter One:  
Sephy's POV:**

"_Our main story tonight: The County Prison has announced that Kamal Hadley has been killed by his cellmate. The cellmate who has yet to have been named is said to have beat Kamal Hadley to death. The former deputy prime minister was in jail for the abduction of his daughter Persephone Hadley and was…_"

I didn't turn the TV off, but I stopped listening. I found myself lost in my thoughts even though I wasn't really sure what it was that I was thinking. I waited for myself to feel something, but nothing came. A picture of _him - _I still couldn't think of him as my Dad, but I couldn't think of him by his first name right now - was shown on the screen as the news reporter continued speak about him and his death.

_His death. _My father was dead. I found myself thinking back to when I was little and wanted nothing more for my Daddy to come home and stay home, back when all I wanted to hear was his voice say "Princess". Back when I was nïave enough to think he actually cared about me, Minerva and Mum. Back before I grew up and saw him for the bastard he really is. If he had died back then, back when he was my Daddy and I was his Princess then I would've been devastated. I would've probably screamed and shouted and denied it. I would've cried for days and I would've missed him with all my heart.

The fact was though, that he wasn't my Daddy anymore and a long time had passed since I was his Princess. So much had happened since then and I hated him now. I hated him when he was alive and nothing about that changed because he was now dead. I couldn't be one of these people who goes on about how great someone was because they're now dead. I couldn't see the good in him anymore. I wasn't sure there ever was any.

"_Then why don't you drop dead" _that had been my thought just before he kidnapped me. I couldn't even remember what it was he said to make me think it. I just remembered being worried because it wasn't one of those flying thoughts, it was how I really felt. I felt like I didn't care if he dropped dead at any moment. Now someone had arranged that for me and I proved my thought to be right. I didn't care.

I felt like I was being somewhat heartless because I didn't care, but I couldn't force myself to feel something that wasn't true. I went too long trying to be what the world wanted, to do what the world wanted. I spent too long being what was accepted and not who I really was. Not anymore, I know who am I now and I plan to stick by that. And a part of that is not faking things. I knew it would be hard, I was an expert faker, but I couldn't fake this even if I wanted to. Which I didn't, not really.

If anything I was regretful. I regretted that my father wasn't the man I thought he was when I was young and stupid. I regretting that Callie Rose would never be able to get to know either of her granddads. Both killed through jail. One through injustice. One though justice. I didn't regret that Callie Rose wouldn't know my father, but thinking about his death made me think of Ryan's death as well. I _was _regretful that she'd never know Ryan. I knew he never really liked me, but I'm sure he would've grown to love Callie Rose.

I wondered about the man who killed my father. Who was he? What had been his reasons? Was it a mad un-thought through action, or was it something he had been planning. He was a Cross so he wouldn't hang for it - another unfair thing about society. I didn't agree with hanging full stop. I found myself extremely curious about him. The majority of Noughts in this country wanted Kamal Hadley dead. At least all the of Liberation Militia would've happily killed him without a doubt. No one would've thought that his death would happen at the hands of a Cross.

I found myself feeling calm and full of relief and I hated it. My father was dead and I was relieved? That couldn't be right. I had to think about my family though, a think Kamal Hadley never did. His death meant he could never hurt me, Callum and Callie again. I was pretty sure Mum wouldn't be too upset about his death either. My sister on the other hand…

Minvera was in many ways like my father, however, I did believe she had actually feelings. She did care about people, she did care about her family. She cared about _all _of her family though. She always loved our father. His death was going to effect her badly. While the majority of the country would be celebrating, Minerva would be one of the only ones actually grieving. I actually couldn't think of anyone else who would miss him. It was sad in a way, but it was all his own doing. I wondered if Minvera had the news on and had heard about this.

I was about to walk up the stairs and see if she was watching it. If she wasn't I'd break the news myself. I was about to, but then another picture was flashed on the news. It had moved onto a different story now, but I recognised the man in the picture.

"_In other news, Jude McGregor has been arrested on suspicion of the assault of Cross hairdresser Cara Imega."_

I flicked the TV off after that. Life wasn't just going to settle down and leave us all alone was it? Of course not, I had never believed it would. Happy endings didn't exist, endings didn't exist. The story continues and as long as the story continues so do the problems. I didn't have much doubt that Jude _had _assaulted this girl, though. The reporter said suspicion, but I knew the police had been after Jude for ages. If they could pin something on him, they wouldn't let him go. How would Callum feel if Jude was in jail?

I tried to forget about Jude and went upstairs to check on my sister. Minvera and I were the only ones in the house. Mum and Meggie were out shopping - since everything that happened since Callum wasn't killed, Mum and Meggie had started to get their friendship back to how I remembered it when I was young. Good things did come out of life. Callum was out looking for a job, while Callie Rose was at nursery. I was the only one who was here to tell Minerva if she didn't already know.

I knocked on the door, something I always did now. If she told me to go away now, I did. With everything that had happened I felt like I had lost/was losing my sister. She had many of the same opinions as Dad. She always believed Ryan was guilty and, how did she put it? "The apple never falls far from the tree". She hated that Callum was living him, but she was outnumbered. The only reason she hadn't moved out was because she didn't have anywhere else to go. But at the end of the day we were still sisters. I knew we'd still always be there for each other when necessary.

'What?' she snapped.

'Can I come in?' I asked.

'Why not?' her voice was sarcastic, but I opened the door anyway. I couldn't just walk away this time. She needed to know if she didn't already. The second I saw her though, I knew she did know. All around her eyes was red, and there was tears running down my face. It still always scared me when I saw Minerva crying. Despite everything, the fact that I knew she wasn't as big and strong as she used to make out, she was still my big sister, and I still saw her as the strong one. Though I was sure she thought I was the strong one.

'You've heard?' I asked.

'What do you care?' she snapped again. I wasn't sure if she was really mad at me or just in need of someone to channel her anger at. I wasn't sure what to say, but Minerva continued, before I could think of something. 'You hated him, you're probably happy he's dead. Aren't you?'

'I…' I couldn't lie to her, but I couldn't tell the truth. I wasn't _happy, _but I wasn't upset either.

'See, you can't even deny it' Minerva said. 'Our Dad is dead and you're happy. You truly don't care about anyone but your blanker fiancée do you?'

'Don't call Callum that' I automatically defended him.

'Yeah, just like I thought. Callum first, everyone else last like it's always been' Minerva said. 'Just get out Persephone, don't come here pretending you care when it's obvious you couldn't give two hoots'

'Miner--'

'GO'

I did then. I walked back out, being sure to close her door behind me again. I went back into my bedroom and thought about what she had said. I knew she wasn't right, but I still found myself having to think about it. As I thought about it, I saw two things; first she was more like our father than I thought; and second that I probably did appear to rate Callum first. Probably because he was my childhood constant


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:  
Callum:**

I was on the verge of screaming. Everywhere seemed to be the same. Being Callum McGregor and trying to get a job appeared to be an impossibility. The people who didn't recognise me from when my face was splashed all over the news, turned be now as soon as I told them my name. The fact that I had been proven innocent counted for nothing in this society. I was still a nought who dared to love and Cross and stay with her. While there may be the odd few on mine and Sephy's side, the world generally still hated us. Hated me.

I knew I didn't really need a job. Jasmine had plenty of money from the divorce and would easily support all of us. I couldn't accept that though, I couldn't just live in Jasmine Hadley's house free of charge. I wanted to be able to pay my way, I wanted to be able to provide for my family. It was my place to do that. Plus I didn't want them to think I was sponging off them. I didn't think Jasmine would think that - it had been her idea for us to all live there - but Sephy's sister, Minerva was another matter. She hated me being there and I didn't want it to appear to her that I was just taking without giving anything back.

I'd only been out of jail for a week when I started looking for a job. This was only my first day of looking and I was already disheartened by the response I was getting. I should've expected it, but I didn't. I had been living in a bubble for a few days after getting out of jail. Everything seemed great; Sephy agreed to marry me; I was home with my family; I was going to see my little girl grow up. I had momentarily forgotten about the rest of the world. Now the rest of the world was proving they hadn't forgotten about me though. They were also proving that I had no right to ever forget reality.

Still I wasn't going to stay too disheartened, I had spent a lot of my childhood trying to work out whether I wanted to be accepted in the world or just be myself and deep down I knew what I truly wanted was to be accept for who I am. I remembered a conversation I had with my sister before she died. She asked if I would rather be someone or make a difference, Lynny had thought I'd rather make a difference, but I'd gone for the more selfish option of being someone. I still stood by that, though, because Jude was out there trying to make a difference and he was going about it the complete wrong way. I had tried that and almost got myself killed. I'd like to make a difference, but for a while I'd just like to focus on my family and myself like everyone else does. Society can work itself out without my help - just for a while.

Selfish maybe, but I needed a break from everything. After 22 years of fighting it, I thought I deserved a break. Which was another reason I wanted a job, because a job was a perfect normal, perfectly honest, no-strings-attached thing to do.

"Callum" it was Gordy's voice

I turned left, to the direction of the voice, assuming I had heard wrong. I hadn't. There, real as day, was the old guy I had worked with in the garage back before I was arrested. A life time ago. I smiled friendlily and managed a small "Hi".

"Long time no see" Gordy added. "You've made a bit of a name for yourself since I last saw you, Callum" he wasn't being harsh, if anything there was admiration in his voice. "Good on you boy. I guess it shows you were right"

"Right about what?" I asked, confused.

"Back when you worked in that garage with me, you said to me and Rob that making it in life took more than money." Gordy explained. "You have the determination to sacrifice everything to make it in this world, Callum, so I say good on you. There's not many of us noughts who would be brave enough to do all that you've done"

I blinked in shock. I wasn't used to people admiring me, most people from both sides tended to hate me. Noughts for betraying them, Crosses because I wasn't good enough to be with one of them. "Er… thanks, Gordy" I said, then changed the topic. "So how've you been in the past few years?"

"Not bad all things considered" Gordy replied. "That garage closed down, so I'm working at another one now. I may be old at 61 but I'm not ready to give up work yet. That's me, predictable 'til the end. No big adventure just a simple life"

I smiled "Don't knock the simple life" I told him. "Here, Gordy, you don't know anywhere that's looking for staff do you? Anywhere that's willing to have Callum McGregor working for them?"

"Sure I do, there's a vacancy at the garage I'm at now" Gordy said. "They find I so hard to get staff, I'm sure they'll take you without a second thought. Plus you have experience and that always counts for something"

Gordy wasn't really nïave, but he appeared it then. But maybe he was right, if they had trouble getting staff, maybe they'd see nothing in my name and what it meant to the rest of the world.

It turned out he was right. I followed him to the garage he was working at right away, and the boss - a friendly Cross - was more than happy to have me start as soon as possible. And as soon as possible for me, was right away. I wanted to prove that I was a hard worker and worth the job I was being given. Even if it was just a small garage, I still felt like I needed to prove myself.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

**Sephy:**  
'I got a job' Callum said with a smile the second he was through the door, a few hours after leaving.

I smiled back 'That's great Callum', there was a part of me that felt guilty for smiling and acting normal. No, it wasn't acting normal I was feeling guilty, it was feeling normal. I didn't feel an ounce of upset at hearing my Dad was dead. 'Where to?'

'At a garage' he replied, 'I saw Gordy, a guy I worked with before I was arrested and where he works was looking for someone. The name Callum McGregor didn't put them off' he was making a joke of it, but I could tell that he hated the association with his name.

'Callum' I said, I had to tell him about my Dad, but the other thing I had heard on the news was more important.

_More important? _I was starting to think Minerva was right. I was valuing what Callum needed to know over the fact that my Dad was dead. That couldn't be right? But didn't people say you should focus on the living? Jude was alive, Dad was dead, therefore, the news about Jude was more important.

'Jude's been arrested' I continued.

'What?' Callum ran a hand over his face and through his hair, looking like it was all he could do not to scream. 'Great, just great' he muttered. 'What for?'

'The assault of a Cross girl' I replied.

'Assault?' Callum repeated. 'Assault? No way. Jude isn't that stupid. Jude wouldn't let himself get arrested this easily. And _assault? _It doesn't sound like Jude'

'It's definitely Jude that's been arrested, Callum' I said. 'I'm not saying he did it, and I'm not saying he didn't do it, but it's definitely your brother who's been arrested. I'm not likely to forget what he looks like. It was on the news, it was Jude'

'No, I know' Callum said, 'It's just Jude is so careful he's practically paranoid, it's so hard to imagine him actually being caught. And being caught for something like assault, if Jude _did _assault someone he wouldn't leave evidence'

'Unless he didn't have time to make sure there was no evidence' I said. I was thinking aloud more than actually talking to Callum.

'Assault is so minor though, Jude usually wants to make a show, a point' I think Callum was also thinking aloud, rather than talking to me. 'You said some cross girl, did they say her name?'

'Cara…I can't remember what they said her surname was, but the first name was Cara' I told him.

'How did Jude know her though, that's the real important question? This is assuming he did know her…' Callum rambled. 'None of this make sense' Callum didn't say anything after that for a while, it was clear he was lost in thought about it.

I could understand Callum's confusion as well. It was uncharacteristic of Jude to only _assault _a Cross, and then to actually get caught for it. Either he was proving he was only human and made mistakes, or he was accused of a crime he didn't commit. Wouldn't that be ironic? Of all the crimes he had committed, Jude being arrested for one he didn't do. That's assuming he didn't do it though.

'I need to see him' Callum said eventually. 'He'll tell me the truth' I doubted this 'and even if he doesn't I'll know if he's lying'

'What are you two talking about?' my sister said, and I turned and saw her coming down the stairs.

'Jude' Callum replied simple.

Minerva stared between Callum and I in horror. When she spoke it was aimed at me. 'Our Dad is dead and you're talking about his bastard brother?'

'Don't call Jude that' Callum automatically defended, then he stopped and looked at me. He spoke softly 'Kamal's dead?'

I nodded.

'Not that either of you give a damn' Minerva added.

'How…?' Callum asked.

'He was attacked by his Halfter cellmate' replied Minerva.

The glare on Callum's face, directed at my sister was mirrored on my own. 'Don't you _dare _use that word' I snarled at her.

She just looked at us, not saying anything, before disappearing into the kitchen.

'I'm going to see Jude' Callum said, before storming out.

I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face in anguish. What hope was there for Callie being accepted in the world if her own family was going to use words like that? I knew Minerva didn't like Callum, I could almost accept that, she had made it clear for long enough, but she was not going to get away with anything that could hurt my daughter.

**Minerva:  
**I lent on the sideboard, feeling like I could fall over at any moment. I felt so weak, it was as though my whole world had come crashing down. I may not have been as close to Dad as Sephy had been when we were younger, but I loved him and cared for him more than anyone else in this family has done for years. I was the only one who went to see him in prison. The thought that he was dead horrified me. He wasn't the easiest man to get along with, but I did get along with him. We were one and the same in many ways. He understood me and I understood him.

I was going to miss him like crazy and Persephone was being such a heartless cow about it. I couldn't help but be angry at her. I hadn't meant to use the word 'Halfer' I didn't mean anything against Callie Rose, she's a great kid. I was just so mad at the person who killed my Dad, I wanted to scream and shout and call him all the names under the sun. What gave him the right to take my Dad's life? What could possibly give him that right? I was so angry, I felt that if I saw him I would kill him without so much of a second thought. So angry that I don't think I would ever regret killing him. An eye for an eye.

It was a very slight comfort knowing that he would hang for it. The bastard deserved to die, I hope he rots in hell.

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**A/N: Don't be too harsh on Minerva, she's grieving! R&R?**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:  
Callum:

I had to get out of that house before I did or said something I would live to regret. I wasn't annoyed with Sephy, to be honest I felt bad for walking out on her like that, but I couldn't stay after Minerva said that. Sephy's sister had always been a stuck-up snob, but I had never realised quite how much she was like her father. She was definitely far too much like Kamal for anyone's good.

It was true what I said anyway, I did need to see Jude. I needed to find out if what he had been arrested for was true and how he had gotten arrested. I didn't head straight to the prison though, I knew facing my brother while annoyed wouldn't be a good idea, we'd just end up clashing. I walked around for a while first trying to calm down.

I only had a thin jacket on and the wind was too cold, but as the cold hit me it calmed me. And before long I felt calm enough to be able to see Jude without too much of a clash.

'Your family's just nothing but trouble isn't it?' The police officer said, after I said who I was and who I wanted to see. I kept quiet, I wasn't in the mood for some judgmental, idiotic Cross. 'Ryan McGregor convicted murderer. You, convicted kidnapper, and allowed to get away with rape. Jude McGregor, assault currently, but everyone in the world knows he's done a darn sight more'

'Can I see my brother?' I asked, keeping my voice even and avoiding eye contact. I knew if I met the eyes of that person, I'd more than likely have ended up hitting him. What gave him - what gave anyone - the right to talk about my family like that. They didn't have the first clue about us. No one did.

In that moment I found myself thinking about Lynette, for the first time in a while. She was the person in the family who understood me the most. It was like me and her were on the sae wavelength. She understood where I was coming from, and I understood where she was coming from. Most the time at least. I missed her so much, even all these years later.

'Go through there' The police officer said, pointing quickly to a door. 'first door on the left'

I walked through the doors and found myself in a small room. Jude was sat at the table in the middle and there was a Cross police officer stood in the corner at the far end of the room. I sat down at the table opposite Jude. 'Hello, little brother' I said, simply.

Jude didn't even look up when he spoke 'What are you doing here?' he asked.

'Well if you'd rather I could just go and let you rot in here' I replied, and as I did so I realised while I may've felt calmer my mood hadn't actually improved at all.

Jude sighed and looked up at me. 'I didn't expect you to come, I'd thought you'd be too busy with your perfect little family' his voice was full of sarcasm.

'Look, Jude, I'm here to help you, if you don't want my help I'll leave now' I snapped, 'but if I leave I won't be back, so what's it to be?'

'Right fine, stay' Jude said.

'Who's Cara?' I asked.

'I don't know' Jude replied instantly. 'Some Cross bitch who got herself hurt'

'You don't know her?' I asked.

'No' Jude said, again he answered insistently. I knew Jude well enough to know this was a sure sign he was lying. He answered quickly as if to get defensive, and he'd have no need to be defensive if he wasn't guilty of something.

'How'd you get caught?' I asked.

Jude laughed, a bitter, humourless laugh 'I fell for the oldest trick in the book.' I looked at him blankly 'I turned around then someone said "Hello Jude"'

I stared at him, it took all my self control to stop myself saying _who are you and what have you done with my brother. _Jude was usually so sensible and clever, he didn't fall for easy tricks.

'Don't look at me like that, Callum' Jude said. 'Anyone can slip up'

'I thought there wasn't room for that attitude in the Liberation Militia'

'Says the traitor who left' Jude fought back.

'The L.M is going about it the wrong way. I'm better off without it'

'No, Callum, what you're better off without is them freaking Hadleys' Jude replied.

'Jude when are you going to get it into your thick skull that I love Sephy and nothing is going to change that?' I asked. 'Now when is this supposed to have happened?'

'What?' Jude looked at me blankly for a second, and then realised what I was on about 'seven days ago'

'What time?' I asked.

'I don't know exactly, about 6:30pm I think' Jude replied.

'Right' I said, thinking on the spot. 'Then it's not possible that you did it' Jude looked at me blankly but wisely kept his mouth shut for the minute. 'You were with me then.' Acting rather slowly Jude still looked at me blankly 'Remember' I prompted 'we were on the beach, arguing about the L.M'

'Exactly' Jude said, finally catching on to what I was saying. 'No one'll believe I'm innocent, but I must be because I was with you when that dagger was attacked'

'I'll find the police officer in charge of the case know that you were with me' I said, 'you'll be out of here before you know it'

'I knew I'd be able to count on you little brother' Jude said.

I just looked at him momentarily before walking out to find the officer in question.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

**Sephy:**  
I thought Callum was completely crazy when he told me he was going to give Jude an alibi for the time of the attack on that girl Cara. I couldn't understand why he would want to help Jude get away with it. By this point I was certain Jude had done it, Callum had told me he had lied about knowing her and to me that removed all doubt. I knew Jude was Callum's brother and there was some loyalty there but that girl Cara was still unconscious in hospital.

In the end I settled 'Just keep me out of it.' I knew I wouldn't be able to talk him out of it and while there was a part of me who would've loved to see Jude rot in jail, Callum probably knew what he was doing. I hoped he did at least.

'Yeah, I will' Callum said, his voice slightly distant. I looked at him until he added 'The police may ask you to confirm that I was with Jude at the time'

I sighed 'When was it exactly?'

'Seven days ago today, and it was about 6:30pm' Callum replied. 'I'm saying he came to the beach and I met him there. I'm going to say he got here about 6 o'clock and we stayed on the beach arguing about the Liberation Militia for an hour'

Callie Rose appeared next to me and Callum then, she looked up between us before speaking. 'Why're you arguing?' she asked.

I sighed again, letting Callum answer that one.

'We're not arguing, Baby Girl' he told her, bending down to lift her up. 'we're just disagreeing'.

'Ok' Callie replied.

'Fine, I'll do it' I said to Callum, in a tone which told him I wasn't happy about it, before walking away. I couldn't believe that he was actually asking me to lie to the police, this was madness. And for Jude of all people. He could be as bad as my father was at times.

**Callum:  
**It took a couple of days for it all to be sorted. I told the police that Jude was with me at the time, and when asked to confirm, Sephy backed me up. I don't think the police believed we were telling the truth, but they couldn't prove we were lying, and they didn't have any concrete evidence that Jude was guilty, so they had to let him go.

'I got you out' I told him, once we were away from the police station, 'now I want you to leave me and my family alone. Have you got that?'

'For now' Jude replied and walked away.

I thought about following him and telling him that I wasn't going to take any messing from him, and that he better leave us, but I knew it would be a waste of breath. I didn't bother, I just left him to walk away wondering when we'd next here from him.

**Sephy:  
**'I can help it, Meggie' I was halfway down the stairs on my way to get Callie a drink when I heard Mum talking with Meggie. 'As much as I want to not care less, there's a part of me that misses him.' It was obvious they were talking about Dad. 'I hated him with everything I had when he was alive and in some ways I still do hate him but…'

'It sounds normal to be honest' Meggie replied. 'There was a time when you loved him, truly loved him, it's only natural you'd still think of that time and miss him'

'Yeah' Mum didn't sound too convinced, but her tone suggested she didn't want to continue the subject.

I carried on down the stairs and got Callie's drink, feeling a slight envy towards Mum. She was confused about how she felt, but at least she felt something. I still felt nothing about his death. It still didn't hurt, it still didn't even mean anything to me.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I have no idea why, but I'm currently obsessed with this song, and I thought it was great for Sephy/Kamal, so while this chapter wasn't planned, I thought it'd be a good thing to add in. R&R?!**

**Chapter 6:  
Sephy:**

_I wait for the postman to bring me a letter  
And I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better  
And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders  
A family in crisis that only grows older  
_

It was the day of my father's funeral. Minerva was annoyed with me because I wasn't going. Mum was going, because as she said "There was a time when I loved him, and that has to count for something". I almost wished I could think like that but I just hated him so much.

I found myself in mine and Callum's room, alone. I was the only one in the house, Meggie had gone to work as had Callum, and Callie Rose was at nursery. I had the radio on too loud, but I didn't care about the headache that it was starting to cause. The song that was playing I'd only heard a couple of times but I was singing along as if I knew it well.

_Why'd you have to go  
Why'd you have to go  
Why'd you have to go_

That repeated line played on my mind. _Why'd you have to go? _I thought about when I was young, each time he'd come home I'd wrap my arms around him, so glad to see him, dreading him leaving again. But it wasn't really that 'going' that had ever been the problem. It was the man I thought was my Daddy going that was the problem.

_Daughter to father, daughter to father  
I am broken but I am hoping  
Daughter to father, daughter to father  
I am crying, a part of me is dying and  
These are, these are  
The confessions of a broken heart  
_

When I was young me and Dad was extremely close. If I couldn't sleep it was him who sat and read me a bedtime story until I drifted off. If I was scared or upset it was him who would hold me close and tell me that it was all going to be ok. And when I was young I believed him. Now I was older and most things were ok, I was with Callum, I had a beautiful daughter, I wasn't having to hide it. But the journey to get here, the majority of the problems along the way were caused by him.

He was supposed to be my father, he was supposed to make the problems go away, not cause the problems.

_And I wear all your old clothes, your polo sweater  
I dream of another you  
The one who would never (never)  
Leave me alone to pick up the pieces  
A daddy to hold me, that's what I needed  
_

I felt tears pricking my eyes as the song got to this part. That was exactly what I needed but it was more than just being held. It was love and understanding, it was acceptance and caring. It was everything that by the end Kamal Hadley wasn't.

And there had been times, just like this song said, when I imaged a loving, caring Dad who was always there. The fact that he wasn't that person hurt beyond all reason.

_So why'd you have to go  
Why'd you have to go  
Why'd you have to go!!  
_

When it got to _why'd you have to go _this time, I had a flying thought that I wished I'd never grown up. If I'd never grown up he would've still been my Daddy and I'd never have known any better.

That was just a flying thought though because despite all that had happened with Dad, so many other things had happened through growing up that I would never take back. Callum and Callie. Mum and Meggie making up.

_Daughter to father, daughter to father  
I don't know you, but I still want to  
Daughter to father, daughter to father  
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me_

The tears starting falling down the face, but I kept singing along with it. It was rare that I'd hear a song on the radio and be able to relate to practically every word it said. This was one of those songs, and that was why it hurt so much.

_Cause these are, these are  
The confessions of a broken heart_

_I love you,  
I love you  
I love you  
I....!!!!!_

It was only as the song reached the natural pause of 'I…I love you' that I realised that that was exactly how I felt. Despite everything, despite hating him with everything I had, I still loved him. I hated him and I hated the fact that I still loved him, but I did still love him. He was still my Dad.

_I love you!!  
Daughter to father, daughter to father  
I don't know you, but I still want to  
Daughter to father, daughter to father  
Tell me the truth...  
Did you ever love me!!!?  
Did you ever love me?  
These are.....  
The confessions...of a broken heart  
_

I broke down completely as the words of the song started to break down into an ending. It was such a mess. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was never supposed to be like this.

_Ohhh....yeah  
I wait for the postman to bring me a letter.._

Despite everything he was still my Dad. He'd never know that I still loved him. The worse part was knowing that even if he hadn't been killed -and I still couldn't find it in me to feel any anger at the person who killed him - we would never have sorted everything out. We never would've spoke again. He stopped meaning anything of importance to me a long time again, and I was unsure I ever meant anything to him. But he was still my Dad.


	7. Chapter 7

****

I owe my friend Vicki (freakilyobsessedyassenfan) so much for the fact that I am updating this! I was whining to her about it at college today, and she was all "what's the problem" and I was all "Jude" and explained my problem and she was all "Well he could do..." and gave me an idea and I was all "It's needs some thinking through but it could work" and now I've thought it through and it'll work! So thank you Vicki and amazing I wasn't late for English Language xD. R&R everyone, ly'all!

Chapter Seven:  
Jude:

I still couldn't believe I was out of jail. The fact that Callum had helped me showed there was still loyaty there. I still came above _her. _She hadn't wanted him to help me but he did anyway. And then hat stupid bitch Cara had actually confirmed that I was innocent. Heaven only knew why and I sure as hell didn't care. All that mattered was that I, Jude McGregor, was free again. I was walking the streets and innocent man. The best part was looking in the faces of those dagger cops as they had to let me go. Each and every one of them had wanted me to hang. Each and every one of them would love to be responcible to finding something against me that would stick. Now I was able to go straight back to what I had been doing before, and I knew better now. I wouldn't go to such stupid measures to get money. If I needed money I'd get it straight away, no hanging around a person for a few weeks first. I was all set to go straight back to the Liberation Militia, find out if there was anything I needed to know about and get back to work, but I realised there was another personal matter I needed to deal with.

Persephone Hadley. I needed to get Mad Bitch Hadley Junior (Jasmine being the original Mad Bitch Hadley of course) off the scene. I needed her out the way so my brother would could back to his senses and come back to the L.M. He had to realise he couldn't just walk away, and he certainly couldn't walk away for a dagger bitch. Especially not one who was the daughter of the most hated man in the country.

I laughed at that thought. The daughter of the _ex _most hated man in the country. Someone had finally gotten around to doing what so many people want to do. I personally valued my life to much, but he obviously didn't, but good for him. Part of me wanted to meet him just to shake his hand and tell him it was a job well done. The problem was though everyone said nothing would change while Kamal Hadley was still alive, but he was no longer alive, so surely that means things should be changing, and yet nothing is. There's still such a cause for the L.M, there isn't peace and equality, and we won't stop until we have it.

By thinking 'we' I knew I was including Callum, I had to get him back in the Liberation Militia, it was where we belonged. We had to be there, for Dad, for Lynette. Callum seemed to just roll over and forget what the Crosses had done to our family, Mum too, but at least with Callum I had a chance of getting him back. And I wasn't going to stop until I got him back. He said he wanted me to leave them alone, he said he wanted to stay with his family, but I knew better than that. I knew those were Sephy's thoughts really and not his. I knew that as soon as I opened his eyes to how it really was he'd come crawling back to the L.M. He'd be crawling back like a little puppy dog.

Of course he wouldn't just be accepted back with open arms, but you don't get as far as I have in soemthing like that without being able to pull a few strings. I'd pull those strings as quickly and efficently as possible to get him back in, and he'd never get out again. Once he's back in he won't want to get out though, so I won't need to worry about that, but we have to be careful.

It was new ground for me, not having a plan. I knew I needed to do something to get Sephy out of the way, something that would make Callum see sense again, but I didn't have a clue where to start. I was used to making plans to deal with just random stupid daggers, but this needed to be bigger and better. This was personal. This had to be bigger and better than the kidnapping thing. This needed to turn out well.

And then it clicked, the perfect plan. The perfect way to get back at Sephy and make Callum see sense. It was so great I was supprised it took me so long to think of it. I headed towards their place. It was like I was on a high just thinking of this plan. I had to think of the consequences and how great they would be otherwise this plan would sicken me to the core. But everything worth doing involves a sacrifice.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:  
Sephy:**

I sank my bare feet into the sand. It was soft and warm and better still it reminded me of years ago. When me and Callum had always met on the beach. It was lovely to just sit on the beach again, no worries. Of course that wasn't entirely true, there was always worries, but it wasn't anything big. It wasn't life shattering. Callum wasn't going to be killed, Callie was all right, Mum and Meggie were good, and me? I was great.

I found myself going down to the beach whenever the house was empty. It was a great place to just relax. Callie loved going down there as well whenever she got home from nursery. She would always run to the edge of water and wait for it to come in then run back just before it hit her. It was incredibly cute and I couldn't help but smile when I saw her do that. Even though she was only 3, I could see a lot of both me and Callum in Callie Rose. Whenever sitting in the sand she'd run her fingers in it and bury them down, the same way I always did. Whenever she's told something she stops doing anything for a while to stop and think it through, just like Callum.

I lay right down on the sand. It was a warm day, not cold, but not too hot. The perfect temperature to just lay in the sand and not doing anything. It was the sort of day where I just didn't want to do anything. I didn't even want to move. I knew the sand was getting stuck in my hair, as well as all over my clothes but I didn't care. At that moment I didn't really care about anything. I closed my eyes and just listened to the sound of the waves. It was a gentle and repetitive sound and soon I found myself dozing off to it.

When I next opened my eyes everything felt exactly the same. It was still the same temperature, the sand was still warm beneath me. I smiled slightly and started to sit up, wondering how long I had been asleep for. As I sat up I realised it wasn't exactly the same. There was a man sitting next to me. A Nought man, a McGregor.

But the wrong brother.

I jumped up instantly and stepped back when I realised it was Jude sitting next to me. He stood up almost the second I did, a sly smile playing on his face. I took another couple of steps back, putting plenty of space between us. 'What are you doing here?' I asked, trying to keep the worry and fear out of my face. I didn't want him to know I was scared of him.

'I just came to see you' He said. His voice was perfectly normal, as if he was talking to an old friend or a girlfriend. Not that I could imagine Jude having any friends. 'Surely you don't have a problem with that do you?' as he said this he took a couple of steps forward.

I wanted to step back with every step he took forward, but I didn't want to it be that obvious I was afraid of him. Although that fact was probably clear on my face. 'As a matter of fact I do'

'Oh?' he sounded surprised, but I could tell it was an act. Everyone knows Jude hates me, why the hell would he be here? 'Because I thought your perfect little family was open to all Hadleys and all McGregors'

'All except you' I said, adding _and my father _in my head. It was pointless saying that out loud, it wouldn't help in anyway.

'Do you think my Mum would agree with you?' Jude asked. 'Or even Callum? What about little Callie Rose?'

'You stay away from her' I said automatically, my voice full of venom.

'Do you really think it's fair not letting her get to know her Uncle Jude?' Jude continued as if I hadn't spoke.

'I'm her Mum, it's my job to protect her' I replied. 'that's why I will never let you anywhere near her'

'Good thing it's not your stupid halfer daughter I came here about then, isn't it?'

At the word _halfer _I automatically raised my hand and slapped Jude across the face. As soon as I had done I stayed at my hand - which was still in midair - in shock. I hadn't planned that at all, I couldn't even believe I had done that. I took a step backwards, terrified at how Jude would react.

As I stepped back he grabbed the hand I'd just used to slap him and used it to pull me closer to him. Once he had me right next to him he kissed me. I pulled my lips off of his 'What the hell are you doing?'

'Oh don't pretend you don't want it' Jude said. 'Everyone knows what you're like. You'll get off with any nought who's going'

'That's not true' I said, 'There's only ever-'

He cut me off by kissing me again, making it deeper with each movement. He let go of my hand and wrapped both of his arms around me, stroking his hands up and down my back. Each time he touch me in any place it made me shudder, each kiss made me feel sick. I struggled against him endlessly, but he was always stronger than me.

After a few moments I was able to move one hand enough to scratch him. He stopped when he did so, a few drops of blood running down his cheek where my long nails had cut in. The pause was only momentary though and he never moved his arms from around me. He looked at me and shook his head patronisingly. He laughed a short laugh like I was a little child trying to break a punishment, before leaning his head towards my ear. 'You make me sick, but I would do anything to hurt you' as he spoke he moved his hands up my back and unfastened my bra 'and I would do anything to make Callum see sense'

'You're going to hurt him by doing this' as I spoke I realised I was crying. There was a stubborn part of me that wished I wasn't, I wanted to be strong and not give him the satisfaction, but by this point I was too scared.

'I'm going to make him see what you're really like' Jude corrected me. He pushed me to the ground and started to undo the buttons on my shirt.

**SillyxxxDance sorry for freaking you out when you worked out what Jude was going to do at the end of the last chapter. **

**I'm dedicating this chapter to Vicki firstly because she said she's sulk if I didn't, and secondly because she gave me the Jude idea! Thanks Vicki!**

**-shudders- well I feel weird _writing _that, goodness knows what reading it does to you. I don't think I'm going to look at Jude the same way again, I can hardly defend him with 'he's not that evil' now can I? lol. Please R&R. ly'all Carly!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:  
Callum:**

I got out of work early, I knew Sephy wouldn't be in the house, if she hadn't gone out she would be on the beach. I didn't bother going through the house, I just headed straight to the beach, walking the same way I used to when I met her here in secret. It was around midday and the sun was starting to get to it's hottest. Once I reached the beach I saw from a distance Sephy lying on the sand, with a Nought man on top of her. From that distance I couldn't see who it was, but almost simultaneously with seeing her, I heard her. She was trying to scream. I automatically ran towards her, the closer I got the easier it was to see who it was. Jude.

Once I reached them I pulled him off Sephy, the second I had him in front of me I punched him square in the face. 'What the _fuck _do you think you're doing?' I screamed at him.

Jude simply laughed slightly, making no attempt at an answer. I hit him again and again. I didn't stop. I took little notice of when he fought back. I was so angry that despite the fact that Jude is both bigger and stronger than me, he was of little match. I was so angry that I didn't think I would ever stop hitting him. How _dare _he try something like that? How dare he even come anywhere near us? What the hell did he think he was going to gain from it? What the fuck was going through his twisted little mind?

And how the hell did this happen? Dad was in the Liberation Militia but he would never do anything like this, I was in it for a time but I never did anything like that I couldn't. How did Jude turn out so sick and twisted? I wanted to know but mostly I didn't care, mostly I just wanted to hurt him.

While still attacking Jude, I averted my eyes to Sephy. She had managed to get her clothes back on but she was shaking madly and tears were running down her face. The overwhelming fear was obvious just by a quick glance of her and of course that wasn't any surprise. Looking at Sephy made me more angry. At that moment I could've killed Jude. At that moment I was ready and prepared to kill Jude. I didn't care about anything else, I was just so angry.

Eventually Jude managed to hit me back with some sort of force. It was on the chin, knocking my face to the side quickly. A sharp pain shot through my chin and my neck as his hand made contact and it brought me to my senses. Jude deserved to be hurt, Jude deserved to rot in jail, but I couldn't kill him. If I killed him I'd be straight back in jail and that would help no one. I turned back to face him, hands raised in a form of surrender. I had to try and talk to him even though just looking at him disgusted me. I didn't even know where to begin.

In the end Jude started for me 'You're little dagger slut was loving it' he said, a smile playing on his face.

It was all I could do to keep calm and not start hitting him again. 'You're a sick bastard' I said. I searched for the right thing to say and in the end I simply said 'Why?' he didn't answer straight away and I screamed at him. '_Tell me why?!' _

Jude laughed slightly again, 'Revenge partly' he said. His tone was perfectly normal, he really didn't think he had done anything wrong. 'partly to make you see what _she _is really like.'

'You twisted fucking…' I couldn't even think of an insult that would be bad enough to describe him. 'You've completely lost it. I don't even know you and you clearly don't know the first thing about me. You're wrong Jude' the words I were using were too simple. Too simple to explain how I felt about him, how I felt about everything and yet they were the only words that I could think of to use. 'You're completely and utterly wrong about everything. The Liberation Militia is wrong, but you go beyond that. You're wrong about Sephy. You're wrong about life. You're a ruddy disgrace. When I was young I used to look up to you, now I can't even bare to look at you.' I pulled my phone out of my pocket. 'I'm calling the police'

'You think I'm going to hang around and let them come?' Jude said, 'You're stupider than you look, little brother'

'Don't call me that' I practically spat at him. 'You're not my brother, not anymore. You're nothing but a piece of scum to me now'

'I'm still not hanging around for the police to come' Jude said.

I grabbed him by the chest of his shirt and pushed him against a nearby wall. 'I can make you stay' I snarled. Using one hand and all my strength I kept Jude against that wall, stopping him from being able to get away. With the other hand I dialled 999. I tried to keep my voice calm as I explained what had happened and where we were.

The whole time waiting for the police to arrive, Jude tried t get away from me. His desperation matched with my angry made us about equal in strength. By the time the police arrived Jude was away from the wall and a few feet up the beach. Each time he moved to get away I stopped him, keeping him roughly in the same place.

When the police did arrive, I moved my concentration for just on second to make sure they got here, and in that second Jude pushed me out of the way with such a force that I was thrown to the ground. As soon as I was away from him Jude ran as fast as he could. He wasn't fast enough though, as the police came onto the beach it was easy for them to catch up with them.

One of the officers spoke to me, asking me again to explain what had happened. I told them what I knew, I didn't know everything because I had been at work. He took one look and Sephy and said they'd have to speak to her at some point. I thanked him for their help and watched in almost disbelief as Jude was forced into the police car and it drove off.

As soon as it was out of sight I headed straight over to Sephy. She was still sat in the same position she had been when I last looked at her. She was also still shaking and crying. I sat down on the sand beside her and put my arm around her. 'It's ok' I soothed 'he's gone and he's never coming back'

Sephy shrugged away from me as quickly as she could manage - which was pretty slow. She looked at me in horror 'It was your brother' was all she said. I saw the fear in her eyes and realised some of that fear was directed at me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:  
****Sephy:**

I kept my eyes fixed on Callum. He was the right brother, the right McGregor. He was my fiancé, the father of my daughter. He was my world and yet looking at him now I felt sick with fear. Looking at him now I saw Jude in him. They didn't look much alike but there was certain things that made it obvious they were brothers. Certain things that made me look at him now and relive what had just almost happened. I wanted to look away. I wanted to see something else. I didn't know what I needed to see, but something that wasn't Callum and want this beach.

I felt so disgusted and worse I felt disgusting. Jude saw me as a "dagger slut", when I had tried to stop Callum from being arrested Dad had said I was "nothing more than a blanker's slut", there must be a reason people saw me like that. There must be something I do that makes them see it. I couldn't understand what it was but I felt so dirty. I could still feel Jude's hands wondering up and down my body. I still felt like he was slowly touching every inch of me. I could hear the click from when he undid his belt, resounding in my head. I still felt as though my clothes were off, even though I knew I had pulled them back on, doing up all possible buttons. I felt exposed, I was just wearing a short sleeved shirt and a pair of trousers. It felt like anyone who looked at me could see right thought it. I wanted to cover up completely.

I couldn't move though. I felt frozen stiff, even though I knew I was still shaking madly. I didn't feel as thought I'd be able to make any movement through choice. My tears hand finally stopped and like so many times before in my life I felt like I had run dry. Like I had no more tears left to cry.

I blinked and my vision updated. Callum had moved only slightly, he was now knelt beside me rather than sat. His expression was soft, like he didn't know what to say. Was he feeling guilty? Because he should be. I only realised it as I noticed Callum had moved position, this was all his fault. He was the reason Jude was out of jail in the first place. 'You caused this' as soon as opened my mouth the tears started again. My voice came out shaky, but my point was mad.

Callum shook his head slowly 'No…' he said simply.

'You did' I continued. 'Ju… Ju…' I couldn't say Jude's name 'he wouldn't have been around if you hadn't lied to the police. You let him get away with assault so he could come and try that. You're just like him'

'Sephy, I'm not' Callum's voice s almost pleading. 'I didn't know he'd…' he trailed off.

I found myself backing away from Callum, just a few inches. I knew my words sounded angry, though my tone wasn't, but I wasn't angry. I was scared. I felt betrayed. I felt like Callum had betrayed me. It felt like Callum had let this happen. It really felt like Callum has caused this. That alone scared me, that alone had me terrified, mixed with the recurring flashback of Jude, it left me not really knowing what was what. I was barely even sure if up was up and down was down.

One thing I was sure of though. 'Go, Callum' I said, keeping my voice as even as possible. I couldn't bare to have him there near me. At that moment I couldn't have bared to have anyone near me, but Callum was by far the worst of them. He didn't move. 'Go' I repeated. 'Please just leave me alone. Go'

'Sephy I never meant for anything like this to happen' Callum said, trying to meet my eyes as I tried to avoid his. 'I thought I knew Jude' I physically flinched at the name 'Sorry' Callum said automatically. 'I thought I knew him, I thought he'd never try something like that, not in a million years'

'He did, though' my tears were border line hysterical by this point. 'Please, Callum, just go'

'No' Callum replied, quite firmly. 'I'm not going anywhere until I know you're ok'

'I'm not ok, Callum, I'm not' I said 'I'm not' I felt like I needed to keep saying it to make him hear it 'I'm not. I'm not' Callum placed his hands on my shoulders to try to get me to calm down. The second his hands made contact with me I pulled away 'No' I shrieked 'Don't touch me' I tried to scramble to my feet but was unsuccessful, I shuffled backwards as fast as I could. 'Don't come anywhere near me. Just _go' _I practically screamed the last word.

'Whoa whoa' Callum held his hands out in front of him, like a sort of surrender. Or like he wanted to show me he wasn't going to hurt me. He didn't try to come any closer but at the same time he didn't leave. He didn't move at all. 'Listen, Sephy' he was speaking gently but it didn't feel gentle. 'I just want to help you. If you let me I _can _help you'

'You can't help' I brought my knees up to my chin and hugged my legs. 'No one can help. I don't need help, I just need you to go' I looked down at my knees and found myself subconsciously rocking back and forth, and it helped me stop shaking. 'Why would you just go?' I was pleading now, but I didn't care. I felt that desperate. I couldn't cope with him being around.

'I'll go, Sephy' Callum said. 'to pick Callie Rose up from nursery but I'll be back. I'll never leave you' I shivered, it was supposed to be a promise but it sounded like a threat.

It was ages after Callum left that I finally managed to move. I went back indoors, and straight up to my room. I automatically shut the door and locked it. Finally feeling slightly safer, nothing could get through a locked door that could only be opened from the inside. But then I noticed the window was open. I all but ran across the room and slammed the window shut, once I had done I pulled the curtains, shutting out as much life and reality as I possibly could. Then I just leaned against the wall, slid to the floor and cried.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:  
Callum:**

It just about killed me leaving Sephy alone on the beach, but in the end I knew I had to. All I wanted to do was help up but she couldn't even bare for me to touch her. Not that I was surprised, I found myself hating Jude more and more with each moment that passed. Along with that I hated myself because as much as I tried to deny it, Sephy was right, this was my fault. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't bailed Jude out of jail. I was the one who lied to the police and got him back on the streets.

It still made me feel sick just thinking about it. I knew my family was messed up with Lynette committing suicide and Dad and Jude and me being involved with the L.M, and Dad dying because of it. But I never would've thought anything that twisted would've come out of it. If I had had even the smallest inkling I never even would've thought about helping him. I wished there was some way I could undo it, but I knew I never would be able to. I just hoped there would be some way I could make up for it, thought I didn't know how I could.

Callie Rose was practically stood right in front of me before I even noticed her there when I got to the nursery. I shook my head slightly and attempted to smile. It felt forced, but I couldn't let Callie know there was anything wrong. 'You had a good day, Baby Girl?' I asked, picking her up and carrying her out.

'Yeah' Callie Rose said with a smile. Her face turned to confusion and she asked 'where's Mummy?'

'She's…' how could I answer that? 'She's an home, she's not too well'

'Oh' Callie said, accepting my answer. 'We did finger painting today'

I inspected Callie's hand, noticing what I had completely missed when I picked her up. One hand was a mixture of blue, and yellow, while the other seemed very pink and brown, and she was holding a picture in the blue/yellow hand 'So I see. Have you painted us a nice picture?'

Callie nodded her head madly. She opened the picture and put it in front of my eyes proudly. As she did so she blinded me from where I was walking. To avoid any inevitable disasters I stopped walking to look at it. Callie had drawn the beach with Sephy, me and her stood on it. I had to blink a couple of times to stop myself crying. Callie Rose loved that beach like me and Sephy had done.

'Daddy?' Callie sounded concerned 'Don't you like my picture?' she sounded so upset and horrified at the idea that I felt guilty again.

'Of course I do, Baby Girl' I said. 'It's a great picture'

'Can I show Mummy when we get it?' Callie asked. Her voice was so excited that I didn't want to say no, but I had no choice. I couldn't let Sephy see a picture of us all at the beach, not now.

'Maybe another time' I told Callie. 'When Mummy's feeling better'. I wasn't sure when that time would come or if Sephy was ever going to be able to even look at me again, but I couldn't let Callie know anything serious was wrong. There was certain things she didn't need to know, especially not at her age.

'Ok' Callie agreed.

NC

'Is Mummy in bed?' Callie asked, the second she got into the front room and saw Sephy wasn't in there.

'Probably' I replied, not knowing for definite. What if she was still on the beach? I didn't know if it would be better for me to go and try and get her to come in if she was or just leave her. She had told me to go, but she'd still want to see Callie, right? Still I knew there was a chance she had come in and was in bed.

'Dad_dy' _Callie complained. I turned to face her 'I _said _can I go and see her?'

'Best let her rest for a while' I replied. 'I'll go and see if she's up for visitors' I tried to make it sound like a joke. I tried to make it sound like every word wasn't entirely true, because I didn't know if Sephy would want anyone anywhere near her.

'Ok, Daddy' Callie said. I put the TV on, and got Callie a drink and snack before going upstairs.

I tried to open the door of mine and Sephy's bedroom but it was locked. It had the type of lock that could only be opened from the inside. It had seemed like a good idea before, it meant we could get some privacy. It also meant Callie Rose wouldn't walk in anything she shouldn't walk in on. Now though the lock seemed like such a stupid idea. It now meant there was no way I could get in. No way I could see if Sephy was all right.

_All right! _I had to stop thinking those words. Of course she wasn't all right. After what had happened it would be wrong if she was all right. It was such automatic words to think, but they were so inappropriate.

I knocked the door, 'Sephy please let me in' I said as softly as I could manage. She didn't answer. I couldn't hear anything in there at all. My rational mind said she was ignoring me or she was asleep. My fearful mind said that she had done something stupid in there. I tried to remain calm and listen to my rational mind, but it was hard. I had never seen Sephy the way she was on the beach before.

I knocked slightly louder, and spoke slightly louder. 'Sephy, please just unlocked the door.'. Still nothing. I sighed, trying not to let the fearful side of me take over. 'Please Sephy let me in'

I didn't notice Callie Rose coming up the stairs until she spoke 'Daddy? Why isn't Mummy letting you in?'

I turned to her, hoping my face didn't portray the worry I was feeling. 'She's probably just asleep or doesn't want to get up'

'But why'd she lock the door?' Callie asked. Before I had a chance to answer, Callie stepped passed me and banged on the door. 'Mummy? Mummy!' she continued banging on the door as she screamed 'Mummy it's Callie Rose! Please let me in! _Mummy!_'

'Callie shh' I tried to calm her.

She stopped banging on the door and burst into tears 'Why won't she see me?' she asked me, before turning back to the door '_Mummy please!' _

'She just needs to rest' I told her. 'She'll open the door later and see you. I promise' As soon as I said it I wished I could take it back. It was a promise I couldn't guarantee I would be able to keep.

'But I want to see her now' Callie moaned. 'You gave me the wrong snack. Mummy knows how to do it right. I want Mummy.'

'Callie, please' I said. 'Mummy needs to rest, ok?'

'NO!' Callie screamed. 'S'not ok' she went back to banging on the bedroom door and screaming for Sephy.

I didn't know what to do, but in the end I didn't have to think of anything. Sephy opened the door.


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm not a huge fan of having a few lines from one perspective and then changing it, but this felt necessary.**

**Chapter 12:**

**Callie:  
**Mummy looked strange when she finally opened the door. Not pale, because she was a Cross and Crosses could go pale, but she didn't look right. She looked like she had been crying. Who had upset my Mummy? How dare anyone upset my Mummy. She was wearing a big baggy jumper and baggy trousers too, I never saw Mummy dress like that before. It was different. Of course there was good and bad types of different but this was the bad type of different. I automatically put my arms around Mummy, hugs helped everything. That's what I thought anyway.

**Sephy:  
**It was all I could do not to pull away when Callie put her arms around me. I wanted to step away, I wanted to pull away from all of them and hide back in my room. I knew I couldn't do that to Callie though. I knew I should return the hug, I knew I should tell her I was all right, it was all going to be all right, there was nothing to worry about, but I couldn't say that. I couldn't say any of that. I didn't believe it and I wasn't strong enough to believe in it for Callie's sake. I didn't feel strong enough to do anything.

I stood there motionless, knowing I must look dreadful. The look on Callie's face when she saw me told me that much. To be honest I didn't care much about how I looked at that point. I didn't want anyone to see me. My arms were firmly against my side and I knew it must be obvious to Callie that I wasn't going to do any of the things that I was going to do but she didn't move. She just stayed there, not moving at all, except every so often to hug me slightly tighter or slightly differently, obviously wanting a response. Every time she moved her arms while they were around me it took all my strength not to shiver physically.

In the end Callum spoke. 'Come on Callie, Mummy still needs her mess.'

'No' Callie moaned. 'I still want the right snack' she looked up at me 'Mummy you can get my snack right?'

'Your Dad can get it, Callie Rose' I told her, my tone monotonous.

'But Daddy did it _wrong' _Callie insisted.

'Callie Rose it won't kill you to have your snack the way Dad makes it' I snapped. 'I'm not always going to be there to make it for you. Now grow up and have it Dad's way or not at all, have you got that?'

'Why are you being so mean?' Callie shouted, burst into tears and ran into her room.

Callum looked at me and shook his head slightly. There was a look on his face that was half annoyance and half pity. I didn't want his pity, I wanted him to undo this and stop me feeling this way. I couldn't even bare for my daughter to touch me and I hated it. Callum followed Callie into her room and I slid back into my room. I didn't lock the door this time, but I sat against the door. I didn't cry even though I thought I was going to, I just sat there shivering.

**Callie:  
**'Baby Girl?' Daddy came into my room after me.

I didn't even look at him, I was still crying. I couldn't understand why Mummy was being so mean. She was normally so nice. She always hugged me close when I hugged her, but then she didn't even move. It was like she didn't even want me to be there. Did I do something wrong.

Daddy sat down on my bed and pulled me onto his lap. I buried my head in his chest. He stroked by hair and said 'shh, shh' softly as I cried. It was great that Daddy was there but it didn't explain why Mummy was like that. 'Mummy's had a really really bad day' Daddy started to explain 'and because of it she feels like she doesn't want anyone around her'

'Did I do something wrong?' I asked, stopping crying and looking up at Daddy.

Daddy tucked me hair behind my ears. 'Of course you didn't, Baby Girl. Mummy didn't mean to snap, but she might be in a bad mood like that for a while. I don't know how long, but what happened today was really really bad and it really hurt Mummy'

'What happened? Why's Mummy hurt?' I hated the idea of my Mummy being hurt. My Mummy was the strongest, most amazing lady in the whole wide world. How could someone hurt her? How was that possible?

'You're too young to understand' Daddy replied, 'but I promise you I'm going to make sure your Mummy ends up all right, it just might take a while. So be patient ok?'

'What does patient mean?' I asked, picking out the word I hadn't heard before.

'It means accept that it may not be the same and wait for it to go back without moaning, ok?' Daddy explained.

'Ok Daddy' I said.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

**Sephy:  
**_I was on the beach and the sun was just getting too hot. It was burning me and I felt my clothes sticking to me through the heat. I lay there just walking up from what had been a peaceful mid afternoon sleep. Jude was beside me and before I even had a chance to think about moving he was on top of me. Then he was kissing me and undressing me. No matter how hard I tried to getaway I was frozen in place. I couldn't move at all, the only movement I made was involuntary when Jude lifted me slightly to get my top off. _

I woke with a start.

**Callum:  
**I woke to the sound of Sephy screaming and instantly jumped off the sofa and ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Despite being furthest away I got there before anyone else had a chance. Both Mum and Jasmine were just coming out of their rooms as I got to the top of the stairs, and both looked at me questioningly. Before I had a chance to say anything I heard Callie cry. Torn being going to the screaming Sephy or the crying Callie Rose I looked at Mum and Jasmine helplessly.

'Go to Sephy' Jasmine said 'We'll see Callie'

I nodded and entered the bedroom. By the time I got in there Sephy had stopped screaming, but she didn't look any more relaxed than she would've if she was screaming. I climbed on the bed, being sure to stay on top the covers, beside Sephy. 'Sephy, shh, it's ok' I soothed, she didn't look at me. I couldn't be sure if she could even hear me. She was just staring dead ahead. I reached out and touched her arm to try and get her to look at me.

The second I did her head snapped to face me and she scrambled t the furthest edge of the bed. 'Get away from me' she shrieked.

'Sephy, it's ok, it's me. It's Callum' I said, and the second I did I knew that it wasn't ok that it was me. It was anything but all right. She needed help and support but how could I give it to her?

She barely looked at me still, she just stayed as far away from me as possible without moving off the bed. 'Get away from me' she repeated, only this time her voice was so quiet it was almost silent.

'Sephy you need someone here with you. You can't stay here on you own' I said. As I spoke I wondered how much of what I was saying she could actually hear and of that how much she was hearing how it was meant to be.

'I won't let you hurt me anymore' Sephy said. She was now looking right at me. I didn't have a chance to say anything before she continued 'I won't let you touch me. You won't be able to get near me again'

Then I realised something, Sephy wasn't talking to me. She was talking to Jude, she saw Jude in me. No, it was more than that, it wasn't just similar features causing this fear and determination. Sephy was seeing Jude _rather _than me. She wasn't seeing me at all.

'I'm not going to touch you' I said, keeping my voice as even and slow as I could. I didn't want to scare her, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how I could make her see me. And I didn't know if seeing me would help at all. 'I'm not going to hurt you, I promise'

She kept her eyes fixed on me. She didn't move at all, not even to blink. There was a blank look in her eyes and I didn't know how to reach her from it. Never before had I felt as helpless as I did then. It was around 3am, the whole family was awake but I was the only one who knew what had happened. I had been sleeping on the sofa to give Sephy the space she needed, but now I didn't know if I should leave her or not. I didn't think she should be alone but I also thought me being there was hindering more than helping.

'Sephy can you hear me?' I asked softly. She still didn't move, there was no sign of anything in her eyes except complete and utter fear. 'I know this is my fault but I never meant for you to get hurt' I didn't know if my words were helping, hindering or not making the slightest difference. 'I know that doesn't change it, but I want you to know I'll never leave you. Whenever you need me I'm going to be here for, but if you need me to back off then I'll go. But I'll always come back' it was a promise I knew I'd always be able to uphold. 'I love you, Sephy'

I wasn't sure if I imagined the slight change in Sephy's expression when I said I love you, or not. If there was a change, it was extremely slight. It was impossible to explain and it was only momentary. Like something changed in her eyes, only to go straight back to blank fear.

'I'll…' I started only to stop again. I was still torn between leaving her and staying with her. It was so hard not being able to hold her close and tell her it was going to be ok. Not being able to touch her made it almost impossible to comfort or help her, but the lacking of recognition practically sealed the impossibility of it all.

'I'll… Do you want me to stay or go?' I asked.

Sephy didn't answer, didn't move. I climbed off the bed and sat on the ground, leaning against the wall by the down. 'I'm just going to stay here, all right?' there it was again, _all right? _of course it wasn't all right. I had to stop saying thinking and saying those two words.

I didn't make a point of watching Sephy while I was sat there, but I kept an eye on her. Quite a while passed before she moved and when she did she curled up small under the covers. I think she fell asleep after more time passed but it was a restless sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14:  
Meggie:**

**  
**'If you want to head back to bed, I'll can get Callie back to sleep' I said to Jasmine, once Callum had gone into his and Sephy's bedroom.

'To be honest, Meggie, I don't think I'd be able to get back to sleep' Jasmine replied. 'Something's not right here. Sephy rarely has nightmares and when she does she's never screams like that'

I nodded in agreement 'Callum hasn't slept on the sofa since he's been out of jail' I added. 'and Sephy hasn't come out of their room the whole time since I got home from work'

'Something's definitely going on and tomorrow we're going to find out what' Jasmine said, using that determined tone which said she wouldn't let it drop until she knew what it was. I was glad that, because I too wanted to know what was going on, but I wasn't stubborn enough to not let it drop as obviously as Jasmine was.

We both headed into Callie Rose's room. The room was very slightly lighted by the owl shaped nightlight that she always had on all night. Callie looked really shaken when we went in. I perched on the edge of her bed by the pillow and Callie automatically sat up and put her arms around me. Jasmine sat on the opposite end of the bed.

'What's wrong, sweetie?' I asked. I was sure I knew the answer, but it felt necessary to ask anyway.

'I heard Mummy screaming' Callie said. 'Why was Mummy screaming?'

'She just had a bad dream' Jasmine answered before I could. 'and it scared her slightly'

Callie looked from Jasmine to me and back again. 'I thought grown-ups weren't scared of nothing'

'That's a double negative' Jasmine said. 'It should be…' she shook her head, she had only said through habit 'It doesn't matter. Callie everyone's scared of something.'

'Oh' Callie said, clearly confused. 'Not Daddy' she decided. 'Daddy isn't scared of anything'

I laughed very slightly. 'Even Daddy is scared of some things. Everyone is, but it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. In fact it would be strange if something _didn't _have a fear'

'huh' Callie said. It was clear that the more we were saying the more we were confusing her. But within her confusion she had stopped crying and looked less shaken. 'Was Mummy's bad dream because of the bad thing that happened?' Callie asked.

I turned to Jasmine but her face mirrored mine with shock and confusion. What could Callie Rose know that me and Jasmine didn't?

'What bad thing?' I asked.

'I don't know' Callie replied.

'Callie…' I started.

'I don't _know' _she insisted. 'Daddy picked me up from nursery and when we got home he made my snack wrong and I wanted Mummy but for ages she wouldn't open the door' she shuddered as she thought about it 'And when she did she shouted at me, so I ran to my room. When Daddy came he said I have to be… what was the word?' she scrunched up her face in concentration 'Oh I know; I have to be patient because something really bad happened to Mummy today and she would be moody for a while' she looked up at me 'What happened to Mummy?'

'I don't know, sweetie' I answered honestly.

'Oh' Callie said. 'well it's ok anyway, 'cause Daddy said it will be all right, it'll just take a while. So if Daddy says it's going to be all right, then it's going to be all right' she said the last sentence so matter-of-factly that I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She had such an innocent, blind, doubtless faith in Callum. The kind of trust and belief that could only be found in a young child. The thought that she would grow up broke my head. I had watched Sephy growing up until she was nearly 11 nearly as closely as I'd seen Callum and I'd watched both of them lose that innocence and faith. I couldn't bare for Callie to also lose it.

'Can I have a drink please, Nana Meggie?' Callie asked.

'Sure, I'll just go and get it' I replied and slipped out of her room. To be honest I was glad to be away from everyone for just a moment to think. I couldn't help but wonder and worry about what had happened to Sephy. Part of me wanted to go into their room now and asked Callum but I had a feeling it wasn't a conversation for the middle of the night, so I just headed downstairs to get Callie a glass of water.

When I returned with it, Callie and Jasmine were talking about nursery. Callie was talking about a picture she had painted and talking a lot about a boy called Tobey. I had heard Tobey mentioned before, he was obviously a good friend of Callie's. Jasmine politely found a way to stop Callie Rose, telling her she should try and go back to sleep.

'Ok, Nana Jasmine' and is on cue, she yawned.

'Goodnight Callie' Jasmine said.

'Night Callie' I echoed.

'Will you tell me a story first?' Callie asked.

'Which one?' Jasmine asked. 'Cinderella? Sleeping Beauty? Snow White?'

'No!' Callie wrinkled her nose up in disgust. 'Something less… princey'

'I'm not sure if I know any stories without a prince in them' Jasmine said. She turned to me 'What about you, Nana Meggie, do you know any?'

'erm…' I said, and right then I couldn't think of any.

'Tell me a real story' Callie pressed. Her eyes lit up 'Tell me about how Mummy and Daddy met'

Jasmine and I exchanged a look that said so much more than words could've. Jasmine didn't know much about when Sephy and Callum were really young and first met. If this story was going to be told, it would have to be me. Which I was fine with, I could still remember it like it was yesterday.

'That's a story for Nana Meggie to tell' Jasmine said, 'so I'm going to head back to bed' Jasmine bent down and kissed Callie on the forehead before heading out the room.

'Your Mummy was only 6 months old when they first met' I started. Callie looked at me with wide eyes, obviously trying to imagine Sephy as a baby. 'And Daddy was 2 years old. I worked here looking after Mummy and Auntie Minerva while Nana Jasmine was busy' I purposely left out what Jasmine was busy doing. 'When your Daddy first saw your Mummy he stared at her in horror before turning to me to say "Mummy, she's so small and babyish"'

Callie giggled 'Daddy was silly'

'He was' I agreed. 'Callum avoided Sephy for ages, complaining whenever she screamed or was sick or did anything even remotely babyish' I almost laughed as I thought about it. 'but in the end he started spending more time around her and he became protective of her. He'd help me wash her and change her nappies and things' In one sense nothing had changed throughout all of these years, Callum was still fiercely protective of Sephy. 'Sephy's first proper word, which she said when she was about 14 months old was "Call'm"'

'Were they always friends before they fell in love?' Callie asked.

I couldn't lie and yet I couldn't tell the truth, there was aspects of Callum and Sephy's relationship that Callie was much too young to know about. 'Not always, they had their fights, but in the end nothing could come between them'

Callie smiled 'I want a friend that I've known forever to fall in love with'

I laughed 'You've got a long long long time before you need to start thinking about falling in love Callie Rose'

'I know' Callie yawned. As she started to slide back into a lying down position she muttered to herself 'nothing could come between them' and the second her head hit the pillow she fell asleep.

'Night Callie' I whispered before slipping out.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15:  
Callum:**

Sephy was still asleep when I woke at about 7:30 and I didn't disturb her. I left the room almost silently and had a shower in the bathroom across the hall rather than the en suite so I didn't risk waking her. Once I was dressed I headed into Callie's room to wake her so she wouldn't be late for nursery.

'I'm tired' Callie moaned, barely even opening her eyes when I gently nudged her. 'wanna sleep'

'D'you want to miss nursery today?' I asked. I wouldn't normally have let her but I knew she had been up in the night, and yesterday had been quite hard on her.

'uh huh' she replied, turned over and went back to sleep.

I left her to it and went downstairs for breakfast. When I got downstairs I saw Minerva sitting on the sofa watching the news. When she saw me she turned to me and asked what all the commotion in the night was. I simply replied that Sephy had had a bad dream, which was only a half lie. She _had _had a bad dream, but of course there was so much more to it than that. I wasn't sure if it was my place to tell anyone or not. I was sure Sephy wouldn't be in any fit state to tell them herself but I didn't know if she'd want anyone else to know.

When I got to the kitchen, Jasmine was sat at the table. I left the kitchen door open so I could keep an ear on the telly - it was loud enough to be heard almost word for word, especially if you were trying to hear it. I grabbed a packet of cereal out of the cupboard, along with a bowl and milk from the fridge and a spoon. A few moments later I could a seat at the table with it.

'What happened to Sephy?' Jasmine asked before I even had a chance to take my first mouthful.

I didn't answer at first, I just started to eat my breakfast. I needed time to think about what to say and what not to say. Jasmine was Sephy's mother, and through all her past problems she cared about Sephy and she would have a right to know what was wrong with her.

'Callie said you said something bad happened that would make her moody for a while' Jasmine continued 'now if you take the little kid talk out of that it's obvious something's hurt her and I want to know what is it'

I sighed, I shouldn't have been surprised that Callie had repeated that and she wasn't wrong to, it just didn't help my situation much.

'I know Sephy, a simple nightmare wouldn't make her scream like she did in he night' Jasmine added 'Tell me what's going on'

'What if I don't know' I asked.

Jasmine scowled 'Don't play games with me Callum. It's obvious you do and we're not…' she cut off when she heard the news. I automatically swung around to watch it through the doorway.

"…_that Jude McGregor has been arrested for the attempted rape of an unknown Cross woman."_ The news reporter was saying "_McGregor was arrested yesterday…" _Minerva flicked it off before anything else was said.

A simultaneous 'oh, my god' came from Jasmine behind me and Mum from somewhere in the front room. When I turned back to Jasmine there was a mixture of horror and anger on her face but she didn't say anything more.

I turned back to the front room just in time to see Minerva turn to me 'Sephy…?' she said almost silently. Her expression told me she wanted to be wrong, but one look at my face confirmed she was right. She jumped off the sofa and bolted up the stairs. I thought about stopping her but didn't, maybe Minerva would be able to reach Sephy like I couldn't. I knew how powerful a talk from a big sister could be from all the times Lynny kept me going. Sephy and Minerva may not have been as close as me and Lynny but Minerva's reaction showed a level of protectiveness and loyalty that proved just how much she really did care. And to be honest it couldn't make Sephy any worse.

'Start talking' Jasmine said, her voice quiet but forceful.

'I…' I started and stopped. I still wasn't sure what to say.

'It's pretty simple, Callum' Jasmine said 'I want to know how the hell your brother was able to get to my daughter'

I sighed and spoke fast, explaining about the girl Cara and Jude being arrested and me giving him an alibi.

'You did _what?' _Jasmine's voice was still no louder, but it was that that made it harsher. It was the fact that she was talking in at a perfectly normal volume that made me wince. 'You _lied _to the police to get _Jude _out of jail? Why the hell would you do that? You know what he's like? Hell you know more than any of us what he's like. You should never have… what the hell where you _thinking?' _this time with each sentence Jasmine's voice got louder and louder, by the time she got the 'thinking' she was all by screaming at me.

'I was thinking that he's my brother' I replied, trying to remain calm while I could feel the anger burning up inside of me. 'I thought I knew him well enough. I thought that if I did that for him he'd return the favour and leave us alone. He was my brother, I still had that loyalty to him'

'Loyalty? To him? After this?' Jasmine questioned.

'_No' _I shrieked. 'I meant before this. When I lied to the police, when I got him out, I had loyalty to him then. I felt like I owed it to him. I never thought he'd do something like that. You said I should know him better than anyone, well I thought I did. I knew he would hurt any Cross who dared get in his way, and even ones he didn't, but I never thought he had it in him to do something like this'

I wanted to scream and shout about it. I knew this was my fault. I knew Sephy and Jasmine were right to think it was, but I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't mean to cause this. I never would've lied if I knew this would happen. I knew that not meaning to didn't change the fact that it did, but I didn't meant it. I felt terrible, and I knew that didn't justify it either. I just wanted to scream and shout and…

And cry.

Jasmine stayed silent after that, I think she was out of things to say, I think she wanted to run to Sephy but knew she ought to leave Minerva with her for a while. I left the kitchen slowly, Mum was stood in the front room doorway staring at the TV - which was still off - in completely horror. She was extremely pale and looked as if she was in shock.

She turned to me when she saw me there. 'Jude…' she whispered. Her voice was almost silent. She took a step forward and her knees buckled beneath her. I was at her side in a second and caught her before she hit the ground. I put her arm over my shoulder and helped her back to her feet, and slowly took her to the sofa. Only when she was safely sat on it did I let go of her.

'I'll get you a drink' I said. 'Cup of tea?'

'I think she needs something stronger than that' I turned to see Jasmine stood in the kitchen doorway watching us. I raised an eyebrow automatically 'Oh give me some credit, Callum' she added. 'I'm not going to drink anything myself, I'm not completely stupid. But look at her' I automatically did turn back to Mum 'she needs a brandy not a bloody cup of tea'

I turned back to Jasmine and nodded, knowing she was right. Jasmine disappeared back into the kitchen, and when I heard the sound of a glass being taken out of a cupboard I sat down next to Mum. I wasn't sure what to say, I'd never seen someone in shock before, and even if she hadn't been in shock I wouldn't have known what to say. What did one son say to their Mother when her other son was in prison from attempted rape?

'Why didn't you tell me?' Mum asked. Her voice was so quiet it was scary. It was like she was barely even able to speak, more like a breathe than actual words. 'You let me find out on the news…'

'I didn't mean to' there it was again. I was causing things to happen that I didn't mean to cause and saying that couldn't change it. 'I… I didn't think it would be my place to tell people what happened. I didn't think Sephy would want a lot of people to know when it wasn't her choice to tell them. I didn't think she'd want people to know… she might think they'd look at her differently… I don't know! I didn't know what to do'

I felt so helpless. It reminded me of back when me and Sephy were at Heathcroft and Sephy was beat up by those girls Sola, Joanne and Dionne because of me. Back then I had caused it and there had been nothing I could do to help it, nothing I could do to make it have not happened or make it go away. It was just like that now. Only this time it was worse, a lot worse. This wasn't such idiot girls at high school. This was her fiancé's brother going too many steps too far. And still there was nothing I could do about it.

'Drink this' Jasmine said to Mum, passing her a small glass of brandy. Mum obeyed, drinking it down in one. She didn't look much different afterwards, just like she was more aware, less in shock. But the feeling of shock and horror weren't gone. It was going to be a long time before they would, if they ever did.

'Tell me the rest' Jasmine said to me. In response to the blank look I gave her, she added 'What happened? You told me you got Jude out of jail, what happened after that?'

'My god, Jasmine' I muttered 'Is it not obvious? He came around here when Sephy was the only one in and tried to… to…' I couldn't even say it, the very thought disgusted me too much. 'I got off work earlier and knew Sephy would be on the beach so came in that way, I was going to take her out for lunch and Jude… was there with her'

'What did you do?' Jasmine asked.

'What the _hell _do you think I did?' I replied. 'I pulled him off her, got into a fight and called the police' I stared at her 'What did you actually think I did?'

'I don't know, Callum, I don't know what to think' Jasmine said. 'I don't have a clue how something like this happened and I don't have a clue how to even begin to help her. I just wanted to know what happened. I just wanted the whole story'

'I think we're all in shock because of this' Mum's voice was still quiet, but rung out enough authority to get both me and Jasmine to stay quiet and listen. 'None of us are going to know what to do, but I know we'll all agree that Sephy and Callie come first. Callie needs protecting from this and Sephy needs help through this. We can't afford to be fighting amongst ourselves if we have any chance of getting through this'

* * *

**Ok, so I brought the Noughts and Crosses audio book from iTunes the other day and I was sooo disappointed with it. I mean yeah I knew it was abridged, so I was totally fine with the missed out lines, but I have a thing about names. If something gets a name wrong - even it's a minor mentioned-only-once character - I go mad. In the audio book it says "Joanne, Dionne and _Lola_" are the ones who attacked Sephy. It's _sola _not _lola _stupid audio book! Ok rant over. Hope you liked the chapter, please R&R, ly'all Carly.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16:**

**Sephy:**

They was a light tap on the door, followed by my sister's voice saying 'Sephy' softly. I know this could mean only one thing. She knew. Minerva couldn't stand me so why else would she be talking softly to me. 'Can I come in?'

I didn't answer. Part of me wanted to say yes, a bigger part of me didn't want anyone anywhere near me. Minerva took my silence as confirmation that she could come in, and stood at the end of my bed.

'How are you?' she asked. 'I know it's a stupid question, but sometimes… sometimes talking about how you feel can help. I know it helped me when Dad died.'

'Sure your not just here to get an interview out of me?' the words were out of my mouth before I thought about and once I'd started I couldn't stop. 'Tell the world the real reason Jude McGregor' I tried to ignore the fact that saying his name made me feel even worse than I already did, and continued with barely any hesitation 'is in jail?'

'Sephy' Minerva said 'surely you know I'd never do that, don't you?'

'Callum thought _he _wasn't capable of _that' _I replied 'it's hard to know what people really know about their siblings'

'I'm not him' Minerva said. 'Look, I know we've never been close but I'd never do anything to hurt you. I want to help'

'And how do you plan to help, Minerva? How to you plan to make any of this different?' I asked because I couldn't see any way that could. 'Do you have some magical time machine that can stop this happening? Or some amazing amnesia pill to make me forget it ever happened? Do you have some great…'

'No I don't' Minerva stopped me. 'I don't have any of those things. I can't take it all away, I can't make it so it never happened and I'm not going to claim that I know how you're feeling because I don't have a clue'

'No you don't' I agreed, the anger I had been feeling while ranting at her started to fade. It was hard to be angry at her when she hadn't done anything wrong. I wanted to be angry at everything and everyone but I couldn't be angry with someone who had nothing to do with it whatsoever. Minerva always hated Jude, after all he was part of the McGregor family, she practically hated all of them. Just like she practically hated all noughts. As I thought about this my anger started to grow again. What had happened yesterday, in Minerva's eyes probably proved that noughts were all bad. I spoke this thought.

Minerva just shook her head 'Sephy I know it must be hard for you to have any faith in people at the moment, but please stop it' she said. 'I don't know what is going through your mind but I'm not getting some weird kick out of this. I'm not wanting to write some article on what happened. I don't want to hurt you. If anything I want to hurt him, if he wasn't in jail right now I'd be wanting to hunt him down and make him regret it. I hate how much he's hurt you'

'Just leave me alone, Minnie' I said. It wasn't until after I said it that I realised I called her Minnie, which I hadn't done for years. I thought too much had changed, that we'd grown up too much for me to call her a name she hated. Why did I do that then?

**Minerva:**

Sephy looked shocked as she called me Minnie, and I have to admit I was too. I could barely remember the last time she had done and now I couldn't help but read into why she had done. I was almost sure that she called me Minnie because she had done when she was young, before everything started going wrong, before everything with Callum and his bastard brother all kicked off. She called me Minnie as a time when things were good. It was a safe ground for her. She'd probably deny that because she was stubborn, or she didn't even realise that was the case, but it made sense to me. She was scared and vulnerable now so she'd want to be reminded of when she was safe.

It scared me. I may be the older sister, but Sephy was always he stronger one. Sephy was always the one who would stand up against Mother and do whatever it was she wanted. Sephy was the one who fought against Dad to save Callum's life and live with him even though the world's against her. Sephy was the one who always knew what she wanted and how to get it and nothing could stop her. Now she was the one who was in her 20s, sitting on her bed looking very small, very young and very scared. And I didn't know what to do. I said I wanted to help her and I did, I wanted nothing more than to help her but I didn't know what to do.

I knew what I wasn't going to do, though, and that was leave. I knew staying could make it seem like I wasn't listening to what she wanted, but I also knew that walking away could make it look like I was abandoning her. I knew sometimes it wasn't what people said that you had to listen to, it was what they didn't say. 'Let me in, Sephy' I said. 'Please'

Sephy was sat cross legged with her hands in her lap, and she seemed to find her hands extremely interesting. She stayed looking at her hands as she spoke 'Just leave me alone' she repeated. 'Just… just go'

'If you can't talk to me, what about a professional' I suggested.

'A shrink?' Sephy said, quietly. 'You think I'm crazy?'

'No' I replied. 'I think you need someone to talk to. Someone who will be able to help you'

'I don't need to talk to some shrink. They couldn't help, no one can help' Sephy replied. 'Nothing can stop me feeling like this. Now _please _just go'

'Ok, but if you want me just call' I said and walked out.

**I know this chapter probably isn't that good, but it was really hard to write. I didn't have a clue what to write for their conversation so just made it up as I went along. Because of this reviews would be extra good so I can know what you think was good/bad about this hard-to-write chapter. Thanks, ly'all, Carly.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17  
Callum:**

The only word that would describe the next few weeks is madness. The only person Sephy would let anywhere near her was Callie Rose. If I went anywhere near her she'd either freeze or scream at me to go. I've never felt more helpless, I wanted nothing more than to help her but that was impossible when I couldn't go near her. I was trying to understand what she was going through, I was trying to understand why she didn't want me near her. While me and Jude didn't look a lot alike it was obvious we were related, it was understandable that she would see Jude when she looked at me. I got that, I really did, but I couldn't help getting frustrated because of it. The worst part was I found myself snapping and shouting at Callie because she was the easiest target. She didn't do anything wrong, she didn't even know what was going on but I was just so on edge because of it all.

Before even a week was out Jasmine suggest I move out for a little while. It was a fair suggestion, she was right to do it. Maybe Sephy would respond to people better if I was there as a constant reminder. But when Jasmine suggested it I was mad.

'Your saying I have to leave my own home for something I had nothing to do with?' I fumed. 'Something that had I not arrived when I did would be a hell of a lot worse than it is? How is this fair?'

'It's not fair' Jasmine retorted. 'None of this is fair Callum. If it was _fair _none of this would be happening. Right now I think it's for the best if you leave, just temporarily because of the way Sephy is. It's not healthy the way she is and you being here is only making it worse'

'I'm trying to _help' _I said, desperately. 'If I leave it'll look like I'm walking out on her and giving up on her'

'No' Jasmine disagreed. 'If you leave it'll look like you're giving her the space she needs. She'll thank you for that in the future'

'If she ever lets me anywhere near her' I muttered before storming out.

I ended up staying with Gordy. It wasn't ideal, Gordy was a lot older than me and although we got all fine, we were extremely different. Our only common ground was the garage we worked at. Still it worked, I wasn't looking for ideal. Ideal would've been at home in my own bed with Sephy snuggled up beside me. Ideal was too far away, realistic was what I had to aim for.

NC

'Callum, it's Minerva'

When a picked up my phone everything told me that something was wrong. For a start it was Sephy's sister, she rarely spoke to me and there was a sense of urgency in her voice.

'It's Sephy' Minerva continued. 'She's collapsed, she's at the hospital'

'I'll be right there' I said and the second I hung up I started to head towards the hospital.

By the time I got to the hospital Sephy was conscious and being checked over by a doctor. Jasmine and Minerva were sitting in the waiting room. Once I reached them I asked what had happened.

'I don't know' Jasmine replied. 'Minerva found her unconscious. That's all we know'

After too long had past Sephy's doctor, Dr Jackson, come out of her room and into the waiting room. 'She's awake' Dr Jackson said 'You can see her if you want to'

'What's wrong with her?' Jasmine asked.

'She asked me not to say anything' replied Dr Jackson. 'I have to listen to that'

'I am her mother' retorted Jasmine. 'I have a right to know'

'Persephone is over 18. Legally I can't tell you anything if she asks me not to'

I could tell Jasmine was getting annoyed so spoke before she had a chance to. 'Is it anything serious or terminal?'

'I can't...' Dr Jackson started.

'Fine. I'll ask her hersel' Jasmine said and walked out the waiting room, quickly followed by Minerva. I hung back unsure.

'Did she specify who she did and didn't want to see?' I asked.

Dr Jackson shook his head. 'She didn't say anything except not to tell anyone anything'

'Thanks' I nodded and headed towards Sephy's room. The door was open and I could see Jasmine sat on the edge of the bed. I had just reached the room and was about to go in when Sephy spoke and stopped me in my tracks.

'I'm pregnant'

I froze in the doorway in shock. My head was spinning and my mind was racing with no thoughts of any sense. I backed away from the door and leaned against the wall opposide but out of view from Sephy's room. I tried to make sense of my thoughts. The first sensible thought I had was the most calming: The baby must be mine. Jude hadn't got that fair so there was no way it was his. My head stopped spinning then. This was great news that had come at the worst possibly time. This could go two ways: It could work towards sorting it all out or it could make everything worse. I was unsure how it could get worse but I had learnt a long time again that it could always get worse. I knew Sephy wouldn't want to see me so I left the hospital without telling anyone.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18  
Sephy**

"I want an abortian" I said. It was probably the first important decision I had made since... since Jude. It was because of Jude that I meant what I said. Jude had left me more scared and messed up as I had been ever before in my life. Jude had left me unable to bare anyone except Callie touching me, and Callie I could only bare because I knew there was no way she could cause anyone pain, she was far to innocent. Jude had left me unsure about everyone and everything. The worst thing he had done was made me lose Callum. My heart knew that Callum wasn't Jude and that Callum would never hurt me and yet my head caused my heart to feel only felt fear when looking at Callum now. My head only saw Jude and what he did. Callum wasn't Jude, Jude wasn't Callum but in my mind they were one and the same, in my heart they couldn't be more different.

"Sephy think about this" Mum replied. "You can't make a decision this big, this important on your own and this quickly. You've only just found out that you're pregnant. You can't find out and know instantly that you wanted to get rid of it"

"Right so it's fine when you want to try and force me to have an abortian when I don't want to, but if I make the decision myself it's wrong?" I asked, annoyed. What gave her the right to tell me I couldn't make this decision? I knew myself better than anyone else did, I knew myself better than I knew anyone else and I knew there was no way I could be a Mother again. There's no way I could love and care for a baby again. I was struggle to keep myself together for Callie's sake, I couldn't do it for anyone else.

"It's because of your last decision that I don't want you to rush this one" Mum said. "Me and your Father were wrong to try and force you to abort Callie Rose, I will never deny that. But you were dead against having an abortion"

"I was dead against having the decision made for me. I was dead against having my life controlled. I can make my own decisions." I told her. "I wanted Callie Rose, I wanted a baby then and I'm glad I had her, but I can't do that again. I can't have a child again, not now, not ever. I can't do it. I want an abortian"

"I'm not going to stop you Sephy. I'm not saying you're making the wrong decision, you're old enough to decide for yourself" Mum reasoned "All I am saying is think it through. Don't make the decision too quickly and don't make it alone" That shocked me. I don't know why, it shouldn't have but it did. "This is Callum's child as much as it is your's Sephy. At least discuss it with him before making any definite decisions"

"Fine" I said, "I'll talk to Callum and we'll discuss an appointment time and date"

Mum sighed but didn't try arguing anymore. I knew she would never agree with this, but she didn't understand why I couldn't do this. She couldn't understand why I can't be a Mother again. I knew I should've left it at that but my stubborn nature wouldn't let me. 'What about you?' I asked Minerva. 'It's unlike you to not get your opinion in there somewhere'

'It's your life Sephy' Minerva replied 'You've never let anyone tell you want to do, you're not going to start now. Whether I think it's right or not is irrelavent' her tone of voice told me she didn't think I was making the right decision. Well that was fine, I was used to doing things on my own, this would be nothing new.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I am so sorry. I have no decent reason for not updating in three months, but since I've been blamed for someone else's lack of updates (*cough*VickiupdateOddsandEvens*cough*) I'm also going to blame someone… It's Paula545's fault… I'm just not sure why! It just is. (Paulie, you ever read this, ily really!). R&R and I promise I'll never go that long without a serious reason again. Ly'all**

**Chapter 19:Callum:**

'How is she?' I asked hat evening as soon as Jasmine and Minerva got in. My mind was still confused, I wanted to look after Sephy, I wanted to protect her but I knew it was too late to do that. The only thing I knew was Sephy and the baby had to come first. Them and Callie Rose were all that mattered.

Jasmine slipped her coat off and spoke without looking at me. 'She wants an abortion' she said simply, then walked passed into the living room. I stared after her as a mixture of emotions ran through me. I was horrified and shocked that Sephy would want to kill our baby. I was angry: at Jasmine for telling me; at Sephy for thinking it; at Jude for causing this; at society for the way it was; and mostly at myself for not protecting Sephy and for being angry at her. It was only in passing, the anger at her, but I still felt guilty about it. This wasn't Sephy's fault.

I took a moment to calm down before following Jasmine into the living room. I spoke as I opened the door and stepped in 'Did she says why? Why does she want an abortion?' I could guess at the reason but I wanted to know what Sephy has actually said.

'What's a 'bortion?' Callie Rose asked before Jasmine could answer my question. I had forgotten Callie was in the living room. She looked at me with wide eyes 'Where's Mummy?'

I smiled softly at her, bending down in front of the sofa she was sat on. 'Mummy's at the hospital' Callie's blue eyes clouded slightly in worry. I hurried on. 'She's all right, she just got really tired and it made her a bit ill. Now the doctors just want to keep her in overnight so she can get lots and lots of rest. She'll be home tomorrow after nursery'

'Promise?' asked Callie.

'I promise' I confirmed.

'Ok. What's a 'bortion'

I should've known she'd notice I'd only answered one of her questions. 'Something you don't need to worry about'

''k' said Callie, though her expression told me she wasn't happy that I wouldn't tell her After a moment though she smiled again and started telling me about nursery. There was something calming about listening to Callie Rose, there was so much innocence about her. An innocence that had no room for anger and hatred. I wished I could keep her that way but I knew sooner rather than later it would be forced away and the horrors of our society would become clear to her. It wasn't fair but with everything me and Sephy had been through I should've been used to it, accept it even but I couldn't. I wanted to believe things would be better for Callie Rose's generation but the cynical side of me seemed more realistic.

T&D

Once Callie Rose was in bed that evening, Jasmine confirmed by thoughts for Sephy's reasons. After what happened with Jude she didn't feel she could be a mother again. Jasmine also told me Sephy agreed to talk to me about it and while Jasmine didn't hold much hope because Sephy only said she'd talk to me about a date and time, I was at the hospital as soon as opening hours began.

'Sephy?' I whispered.

'You're not going to change my mind' she said automatically.

'Why?' I asked. 'Why do you want to have an abortion?'

'I can't do it,' replied Sephy, quietly, not looking at me. 'I can't be a mother again. I can't do it. I want to be on my own, but I know I have to be there for Callie. I can do it for Callie 'cause I already am… I can't start all over and do it again'

'Why not?' I pressed. I knew it may've looked like I was being harsh, pushing her into saying more than she wanted to, but I had to. It was the only way I'd be able to try and change her mind.

Sephy finally looked at me, 'Why do you think?'

'I know what I think' I replied 'but I didn't ask what I think. I asked what your reasons are'

'Your brother' said Sephy. 'I can't do it because of your brother'

'Raising a baby has nothing to do with Jude' I said. I was being purposely difficult.

'I meant because of what he did' Sephy explained.

'Why not?' I repeated.

'Are you trying to be an insensitive idiot or are you just plain stupid?' asked Sephy.

I considered it for a moment 'Let's go with plain stupid. Now answer my question. Why does Jude stop us bringing up a baby'

'I'm _scared_'

And there we had it. That's what I had been waiting for. 'I know,' I replied, instantly gentler. 'I know'

'I can't do it' Sephy repeated.

'You can't let him win'

'He already has' Sephy told me.

'No he hasn't' I insisted. 'He'll only win if you let him'

**Sephy:**

I knew what Callum was saying was true, I knew how was right. It made sense, and it was what I had always believed. But right now I couldn't believe it. I knew it was right but in my mind and in my heart I couldn't accept it. It didn't feel like it was right. It felt like _he'd already won. It felt like there was nothing I could do, like I couldn't let go of what he had done to me. I couldn't forget about it and be fine._

'_Do you really want to kill our baby?' Callum asked. The question I had been dreaded. The one no one but Callum would ask. _

_How could I answer that? In my opinion abortion was the individuals choice, and there was no right or wrong about it. It depended on situation and circumstance, but my person view, which stood for me and me alone had always been that I wouldn't abort because I couldn't kill my baby. I couldn't explain why it felt like the right thing to do now. _

_No I didn't really want to kill our baby. No I didn't want to let Jude win. But I knew I couldn't do this. I just knew it. And I couldn't have it adopted, I knew that if I went all the way to actually giving bitch Callum would never let me give it away. I couldn't be a Mother again. It wouldn't be fair on the child._

'_Why will no one accept my decision?' I asked._

'_You shouldn't answer a question with a question' Callum commented. I didn't answer. 'I'm not accepting it because I know you don't really want to get rid of it. It's only because you're scared, and you're trying to do the easiest thing, but the Sephy I know would never take the easy way out. The Sephy I know would struggle through just to be able to turn back and say "in your face" to those who said she couldn't. The Sephy I know…'_

'_The Sephy you knew is gone' I interrupted._

'_You're not alone in this, Sephy' Callum said. 'I know you're scared. I know you think you can't do this, but you're not alone. You've got plenty of support. You've got me, your Mum, my Mum, your sister, even Callie. We're all here to help you'_

'_And none of you understand.' I replied. In my mind I discounted Callie Rose from what I was saying. 'None of you will accept my decision or what I've decided to do' I couldn't say "what I want" because of how untrue it was._

_Callum sighed and sat down on the bed beside me. I turned away from him. 'You've got plenty of time' he said. 'Think it through for at least a few more days before you make a final decision.'_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20:  
Sephy**

Callum told me to think about it more before I made a final decision, I had plenty of time. What he didn't seem to realise was that I could think of nothing else. What he didn't seem to realise was that he had made everything even more complicated. Before Callum came I was so sure this was the right thing to do. Before Callum came I wouldn't think beyond the fact that I was sure I couldn't be a mother again. I couldn't do it. But then Callum came, he came even though he knew I wanted him to stay away. Callum came and Callum said the things that only Callum would say. And Callum made me think about everything about all of this. This was all Callum's fault.

Except that wasn't fair. It takes two to make a baby after all. And all the complication would've come to the front of my mind at some point even if Callum had come. This was real. Once this was done there was no going back from it. There would be no undoing it if I allowed my baby to be killed. But I really didn't feel like I could be a mother again. I was barely even sure how I was still doing it well enough for Callie Rose. I was so sure that if I had this baby I wouldn't be able to be a good enough mother for it. Surely it wasn't fair to bring a baby into the world that I couldn't be a decent mother for. Surely it wasn't fair to bring a baby into the world with the world the way it was. Surely to have an abortion would be kinder.

Barely conscious of what I was doing I rubbed my stomach gently. Protectively. Automatically. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the tears forming in them. When did it all get so complicated? There had been a time when I knew exactly what I wanted out of my life and I was sure I would get it. Years ago, years and years ago, back when I was very young and very naïve. Back before I realised how much I loved Callum, back before Jude made it his personal quest to destroy my life, back before Callum almost died, back before Callie. Back before all of this.

I wished none of it had happened. If none of it had happened I would still be that naïve little girl who didn't know any better. I wouldn't have Callum or Callie but I wouldn't have had any of the pain or problems which the years had caused. Life could be simple. It would be worth not having them. Wouldn't it?

No. No of course it wasn't. What the ruddy hell was I thinking? Not having Callum or Callie Rose could never be worth it. It was because of them that the pain and problems life was always throwing was worth it. It was because of them that it was all bearable. Because of Callie's innocence. Because of Callum's constant love and support. I didn't deserve either of them and god knows they both deserved better than me. Was it any wonder I was sure I couldn't do it again. I couldn't be a mother. I was here lying on a hospital bed seriously thinking through how life may be better without the love of my life and my daughter. What baby deserved to have someone who thought like that as their Mother? I couldn't be a mother again. I just couldn't. I was too scared. Too scared of messing up, too scared of something going wrong, too scared of not being good enough. Scared of letting them get hurt. It would be better for them if I just let them go before they had to face any of the heartbreak life would cause for them.

'Miss Hadley' Dr Jameson's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked up at her. 'I know you didn't want to know last night but I have to ask again. Do you want to know the result of your scan?'

'Is my baby all right?' I asked automatically.

'They're fine' Dr Jameson smiled.

_They. _'What do you mean?' I asked. 'You said _they're _not _he _or _she?_Is it a boy or a girl?'

'Both.' Replied Dr Jameson, with a slightly nervous smile 'Persephone, you're having twins'

'Twins' I repeated almost silently, looking down at my stomach. 'Two babies'

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry. I did National Novel Writing Month in November, and then I had coursework, and I was going to update when I broke up for Christmas but I had the flu and an infection! Sorry! Anyway you should be feeling sorry for me, my copy of Noughts and Crosses is in the hands of the guy who gave my the flu "Can I borrow a good book, I have nothing to read" he said. 'Noughts and Crosses' I replied. Now I don't have it and want it! Gah. Anyway I hope it was worth the wait! Please R&R and I will never go that long again, promise! Ly'all, Carly.**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Ok, I'm aiming to update once a month, I will never go longer than a month but I'm unlikely to update more regularly at the moment because of coursework and because I'm at a bit of a block with this fic. I know where I am, I know where I want to get, I'm just struggling to get there. So bare with me ok? And yeah, sorry this chapter's short. Please R&R. Ly'all Carly.**

**Chapter 21:  
Sephy:**

'Minerva?' normally my sister would've been the last person I would've turned to but I was running out of options. Thinking of Callum filled me with the complete comfort and complete fear it had done when we were teenagers at high school. I knew he loved me, I knew he'd protect me and I knew he'd never do anything intentional to hurt me, but I couldn't stop the fear. Mum would never even begin to understand how I was feeling and though I knew Minerva was no more likely to understand, I just needed my sister.

'Sephy?' Minerva sounded as shocked to hear my voice as I had been to find myself calling her. 'Are you all right?'

I shrugged, even though I knew she couldn't see me 'I've been better, you?'

'Not bad' Minerva replied. 'Why are you phoning?' her voice wasn't harsh, she really coldnt understand it and to be honest neither could I.

'I don't know what to do' I admitted. My voice as scared as I felt. I made an effort to hide that as I continued 'When Mum was trying to talk me around you didn't. Why not?'

'Because, Sephy, you're stubborn and ruddy annoying' Minerva replied and as I laughed I realised exactly why it was her I called. She was the only one who would tell it exactly how it was, good or bad. 'No one could change your mind and I didn't see the point in wasting my energy trying to. You're strong, even though most of the time you don't realise it. Strong enough to be with Callum despite everything, strong enough to stick two fingers up at the world when you don't like what they're saying or doing. You're strong enough to do whatever the hell you like and you're stubborn enough to make it a success'

I smiled slightly. Everything Minnie was saying was so sweet but she said it with such an attitude it was almost funny and yet still completely serious.

'You're problem is Sephy, you don't know when you ask for help and when to just act. You don't know when to stop, you just blunder in and hope for the best. Not thinking about the consequences or thinking about them too much' Minnie continued. 'You need to find a medium. Don't just act without thinking, but don't over thinking it too much. You don't want me to tell you what to do, do you Sephy?'

And she was right. I thought I did. I thought I wanted someone to tell me what the best thing would be but of course I didn't. I just wanted control, to feel like I had control. 'No, I don't'

'I didn't think so. Listen, you just have to do whatever it is you normally do. Whatever you listened to when you contacting Keleni and saved Callum, whatever you listened to when you stuck by Callum through it all, whatever you listen to to get through each day in this society with a nought and a mixed race child, listen to that and make the decision you what. Whichever decision that is because it'll be right for you and it's you that has to live by it. You got that?'

'Yeah…' I said, distantly and slowly. I was even more scared than before when I realised my decision. 'Minnie?'

'Yeah?'

'I'm going to keep them' I told her.

'I thought you would' Minnie admitted.

'Thank you'

'I didn't do anything'

'Yeah, you did'


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22  
Callum:**

When Sephy told me she was having twins and she was going to keep them no words could explain how pleased I felt. I wanted to scream from the room that I was going to be a Daddy again; I wanted to go to the prison and rub in Jude's face that he'd never break us; I wanted to pull Sephy down the aisle that second; I wanted everyone to know that Sephy and I were in love and nothing could change that and no matter what our kids would be loved. But instead I settled for just looking at her with a grin that could rival a Cheshire cat.

She was still scared though and I could tell now that it wasn't just because of Jude. It was because of everyone. Sephy had spent so long defying the world that she'd stopped taken notice of what they were saying, what they were thinking. She did what she wanted; staying with me; having Callie, and it was like she was in a bubble, aware of what she going on outside, aware of what people were saying but shielded from it. And Jude burst that bubble, Jude forced her to see without the protective shield she had made for herself and that was what left her terrified. It reminded me of what Lynny had told me once _Bubbles have a habit of bursting, the higher you climb the further you have to fall. _I thought I had understood what she meant but it was only know that I really did. It made me wonder what Lynny would make of all this. I liked to think she'd be glad that Sephy and I succeeded where she and Jed couldn't. I liked to think she was happy for us.

"Sephy," I asked, gently. She looked up at me a neutral expression on her face "if we have another girl, can we call her Lynny?"

She couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face "Of course"

* * *

The next few months passed slowly but mostly uneventfully. Sephy became huge (not that I would've dared say that to her) and had an odd craving for tomatoes. She became slightly less distant over time and started to let people in again. Callie Rose became extremely excited about the prospect of baby siblings to look after and insisted on helping us getting the new nursery ready. As Sephy knew we were having one of either we painted the nursery in lemon and mint. It was so soft and so gentle and so innocent it felt like nothing could go wrong in there. It was so beautiful it was almost heart-breaking, I had the same fear I had when Sephy was pregnant with Callie. Would our love and support be enough if the world tried to stick its ugly head in? And it wasn't even _if _it was _when. _But the fear wasn't enough to stop my excitement and complete happiness.

And we started discussing a date for the wedding. When Sephy brought that up it was all I could do not to bounce like a child at Christmas. We both agreed that it would be better to wait until after the twins were born. We didn't want to risk Sephy going into labour at the alter and Sephy didn't want to be walking down the aisle while huge, plus we wanted our wedding photos to have our whole family in.

"Callum!" Minerva's urgent voice came through as I answered my phone, which had told me Sephy was calling. I didn't need her to tell me what was going on, it was obvious. "Sephy's gone into labour. She's at the hospital now"

"I'll be right there" I replied, both excited and terrified. I grabbed the bag that Sephy had had prepared for weeks and ran out the house.

**Sephy:**

"Where's Callum?" I was close to screaming. I needed him, I couldn't do this without him. Not again. He had to be here.

Minnie took by hand "He's on his way, don't worry, he'll be here"

_Don't worry? Don't worry? _How the hell could I not worry? I was in labour about to give birth again and Callum wasn't here. I had nothing else to do but worry. I glared at her, squeezing her hand tightly partly through choice and partly through discomfort "_I need Calllum!_"

"He's coming" Minnie insisted. She obviously wanted to pull out of my grip but she didn't move.

I breathed deeply trying to stop the tears welling up in my eyes. I had done this once, I knew I could again. But I was so scared and unsure.

Callum walked in and both Minnie and I sighed in relief. In any other situation I would've laughed at the complete helplessness of Callum's face. He looked like such a typical guy, a horrified, scared _ohmigod what do I do _look on his face.

"You took your time" I whined.

"I got here as soon as I could" he replied.

**Callum**

I had never felt so helpless in my life. What the hell was I supposed to do? Minerva was looking at me pointedly while Sephy just seemed to be in complete pain. I stood beside the bed and took Sephy's hand reassuringly, she looked at me seriously.

"Callum, I'm sorry"

I stared back at her "What on earth for?"

"Everything" she replied. "For pushing you away, for everything"

"No! Don't you dare apologise" I told her. "None of that was your fault. And look at us, we're fine now, we're going to be parents. Again. Everything's great"

Sephy smiled thankfully. Both of us knew that it wouldn't remain great forever but in that moment everything was perfect and we both truly believed it "I love you, Callum"

"I love you too, Sephy. Always have, always will"

"I can't wait to become Mrs Callum McGregor"

The next few hours were some of the most emotional I had ever been through. Sephy and I both cried. Lynny was born first and she was beautiful. Her skin was pale, almost as pale as mine, her eyes bright blue and confused and a little tuff of light brown hair, along with a scream which surely should've smashed some windows. Our little boy came next.

"Ryan" Sephy whispered, clearly exhausted.

That one word had me in tears again. She wanted to name our little boy after my Dad. "Ryan" I confirmed. He was beautiful as well, his skin was darker, not quite but almost as dark as Sephy. His eyes were the same bright blue as his sister's though his hair was a darker brown and his scream slightly quieter.

Me and Sephy both looked at the nurse expectantly, Lynny in Sephy's arms and Ryan in mine. The nurse, a Cross woman in her 30's smiled at us "They're both perfectly healthy."

**A/N: Fluff. Like actual, cute fluffy fluff! Hope you liked it! Please R&R**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23/Epilogue:  
Two Months Later:  
Callum's POV:**

Sephy looked beautiful, there was no denying that. Her long, white wedding dress perfectly complemented her dark skin and she was just beautiful. As I watched her walk down the aisle I wanted nothing more than to look into her eyes and tell her how much I loved her, how much all of this shocked me, how much I was glad for everything that had led us here. The walk seemed to be never ended, but slowly Sephy got closer and closer to me.

"I, Callum Ryan McGregor, take you, Persephone Mira Hadley, to be my lawfully wedded wife" I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I repeated after the vicar. Sephy watched me with such a soft look in her eyes that I was reminded of the innocence of the times we met at the beach, before everything that happened. It still astounded me that we'd made it this far, that we'd got through everything together. Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you with all your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths." This version of the traditional vows seemed most fitting for me and Sephy after everything that we had got through and how much of it had been because of our own naivety, stupidity or stubbornness. "I will help you when you need help, and I will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life."

Sephy's smile was so light and carefree and purely happy that it made my heart soar. I felt the same as she did too, light, carefree and purely happy. Nothing could ruin this day. Nothing could ever get between me and Sephy. We'd proved it. We'd fought since before we were even teenagers, we fought to be friends, we fought against each other, we fought to be together and in the end love beat all. In the end we made it, together and happy.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride"

And god knows I didn't need to be told twice. I leaned towards Sephy, kissing her passionately. I was faintly aware of the cheers that came from the small collection of people who had attended but mostly it was as if me and Sephy were the only people there. As if me and Sephy were the only people in world.

Eventually, I pulled away from Sephy, both of us still smiling. I took her, now ringed, left hand, "Ready to face the world as Mrs. McGregor" I asked.

Sephy looked down at our intertwined hands, and the ring on her finger, her smile never faltering "I've been ready for years" she told me and we set off out the church.

**The End.**

**-blinks- Wow. I finished it. Jeez. How's that for shocking. A big thank you for everyone who's been reading and reviewing, especially everyone who's stuck with me from beginning to end. It means the world to me. Love ya all, Carly. X **


End file.
